Orignal Version of Come Hell or High Water
by Kate Alexandra
Summary: Happy endings aren't always what you expect that they will be. Emma certainly never expected to love Captain Hook. Fate had brought them together and she knew it wasn't to end up losing each other like her parents had so many times. She and Killian shared the same type of love as her parents and come hell or high water, their love would overcome anything.
1. Stronger Together

**Author's Note:** Minor canon divergence. Minor headcanon for 5b events woven in. Rated M for language and sexual content. This is my first written work in many years so reviews are much appreciated.

This is also my first time writing smut, some of which you'll find at the end of this chapter. If that's not your cup of tea, please skip to Chapter 2 after the point in this chapter that Emma finds Killian.

I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I have enjoyed writing it.

Edit: I have made some small changes to the story from when I originally posted it so you may want to re-read the story.

 **Disclaimer:** Not mine, please don't sue me.

* * *

 **Storybrooke**

The wind swept leaves into the hallway as Emma threw open the side door to her house. It was supposed to be _their_ house, she thought ruefully. Emma tried to focus on Killian and what _HE_ would do now that he knew she had given him the powers of the Dark One. All because she couldn't bear to lose the man she loved. Again. Not when she had finally embraced all that a future with Killian would mean.

"What future? There's no future for us now!" He had shouted at her his eyes wide and angry over her betrayal. She couldn't bring herself to reflect on the rest of their exchange. He had taken her memories of his plan and the dreamcatchers with everyone else's memories, leaving her with every other painful part of their exchange burned into her mind.

Emma knew that her parents would normally tell her to have hope, but clouded by the Darkness, it was hard to see how it was even possible. Ultimately being the Savior meant restoring happy endings for everyone. She knew there had only been one choice to try to give Killian a chance at a happy ending, even if it was a selfish choice, at least he was alive. She had turned him into the thing he hated for so many years so he had shut her out in his pain, letting the Darkness in, and now she was truly cut off from everyone she loved. Emma simply felt hopelessly lost and alone. Some Savior she was! Unable to sleep, unable to use magic because of Zelena's cuff, she lay down on the couch and did the only thing left to do: cry.

* * *

 **3 Weeks Ago - Camelot**

Killian couldn't believe what she had done. He'd begged her not to do it. He would rather be dead then to be the Dark One.

"You know you'd really rather survive. Surviving is what you do. Now you can't be killed, dearie. So I would say you owe the Dark Swan," the apparition drawled as it took on the shape of a much hated crocodile.

"Go away Crocodile! I will not give into to you!" Killian screamed. And for the briefest of moments, he thought he'd rid himself of the voices in his head.

"You want to embrace the gift you've been given. You will embrace it and I'll be here to guide you until you do."

Rumplestiltskin's personage loomed before him. Taunting him. Tempting him to embrace it. To fully become that which he despised most of all. But he had loved Emma, even as she had become the Dark One and she had felt the alluring pull of the Darkness. Emma. She had done this to them. What possible future could they have now as Dark Ones? He had begged her to let him die and she hadn't. The Crocodile was right that he was glad he had survived even though he wasn't happy about the way it came about.

"Don't agree with it, fight it!" he chastised himself. Killian lost complete track of time as he wrestled with demons. The voices kept changing as each incarnation of the Dark One coaxed him closer to acceptance.

"You'll be able to take your vengeance. We have the means to do the one thing you've spent centuries trying to do. Kill Rumplestiltskin," one voice said.

"I know you're lying. How am I to get my vengeance when I'm here and Gold is in Storybrooke," Killian said, wondering out loud.

"Might I suggest a Dark Curse. Quite effective," Rumplestiltskin's form said as it appeared in front of him.

"And crush the heart of the one I love the most to enact it?" No," he said pushing the thought away. "I won't kill Emma!"

"There are loopholes. Always are. We can help you. We have the knowledge and power you need. You've lost too many people you care about because you didn't have the power to save them. Think of Milah. Think of Liam. Think about what you would have done if you had had the power to avenge them."

Killian thought of everyone and everything he had lost but he then thought of Emma and everything he had gained since she had come into his life. He had love. Not just hers but Henry's as well. He had family and friends that he had never expected to find. It was then he realized that the voices had stopped.

He knew exactly where she was and as he pictured her in his mind he was suddenly right in front of her. His heart ached at the sight of her.

"Killian, you're okay!" She exclaimed. "It worked!"

"Swan, I didn't want to see you. You did this to me, to us," he breathed barely above a whisper. "I haven't forgiven you."

This was partly true. He was still mad at her, the Darkness silently fed that feeling in an attempt to push him down the dark path, and he was struggling against it with all his might.

"You can forgive me. The man I love, the good man, is still in there. We have to fight the Darkness. We are more powerful together. You know it. You feel it. Our love is greater than this Darkness and together we will come out of this. You just have to let me in. I love you. And all sins can be forgiven if someone loves you."

She stepped closer to him and when he didn't stop her, she reached for him and he pulled her into his embrace.

"Emma," he said between kisses. "The Darkness recedes when you're right here."

"Killian, stay with me. Please?" Emma whispered into his ear.

Killian felt Emma pressed so closely against him that he couldn't think about letting her go. He closed his eyes and pressed his nose to her neck, kissing a trail from the nape of her neck to her ears. She closed her eyes too, one hand gripping his hair and the other on his jacket, pulling him closer. When they both opened their eyes, they realized that they had transported themselves to the room above Granny's.

Killian looked around the familiar room, a large bed at the center and a wooden chest in front of the bed that contained additional bedding. Opposite the bed was a fireplace with two mismatched armchairs placed in front of it. He had lived in this room for a time when he brought Emma back from New York, until Ursula restored the Jolly Roger to Storybrooke. It felt like home.

"The connection of our magic and our love is stronger when we are together. Can you feel it?"

Killian had felt it as sure as he felt his own heartbeat. As sure as he felt her heart beating in time with his own. They had been forged anew in a terrible way. They were connected in a deeper way than their love already had bound them. When he turned his attention back to his Swan the whispers faded again. Together they could hold it back. Together they could survive this evil.

Middlemist petals lay on the floor and on the bed with candles floating throughout the room.

Emma looked into his bright blue eyes. She thought for a split second about the fact that she had magically hidden Excalibur and she might have accidentally used it on Killian when she asked him to stay with her. She pushed it from her mind and focused on how she felt. How he made her feel with his hook pressed into her back, gently pulling her closer, his hand on waist and his body melding with hers.

"Emma, love," he said pushing his hand into her jacket pushing it down off her shoulder. "What's with all the flowers?"

She had magicked the petals and candles into the room because she had wanted a romantic setting. She pushed away from him and she saw a flash of disappointment in his face. She finished taking off her jacket and sat down on the bed to pull off her boots. She stood back up still wearing her skirt and corset and looked up into his eyes again.

He stood speechless in front of her, his eyes a deeper blue then she had ever seen them.

Emma, are you certain that this is what you want?" Killian's wanted to make sure it was Emma who wanted him, not the Darkness.

"Killian, I love you." She waved her hand and suddenly Killian realized he was only wearing his shirt and breeches. His jacket, vest and shoes were on the floor nearby.

Killian walked up and circled behind her. She gasped as cold steel slipped behind the strings of her corset and they were ripped away with his hook. He pushed her skirt and underwear down to her feet and she gingerly stepped out of them. Still holding her corset to her breast, she let it fall and turned to him. As she turned to him, he touched his hand to her hair and restored her flowing blond tresses, watching them fall down to cover her beautifully pert breasts.

"Killian? I need you."

"Aye, love," was all he could manage to say as he took his shirt and breeches off. He moved to take off his hook as he had done on previous occasions, but she stopped him.

"Don't," she said quietly. "I love all of you."

Gods, she was amazing.

She walked over into his waiting arms. He wrapped his left arm tightly around her waist, cupped her face in his hand pulling her towards him for a kiss. She trailed her fingers down his stomach and lower to his erection. He stopped breathing and broke off their kissing for a moment as she grasped him and began moving her hand up and down the length of him. She gave him a wicked smile and leaned in to devour his lips as her hand continued caressing him.

"Emma... love... you must stop. I .. I can't," he said in short gasps. He waved his hand and they were lying on the bed. Another wave and he had handcuffed her to the headboard.

"Killian, what the hell?" she shouted.

"Think of this as payback, love, for every time you've chained me up. Just relax. I think you'll enjoy this. I've soundproofed the room so feel free to scream if you must," he said raising his eyebrows in the most seductive fashion.

She looked into his eyes and she felt exhilarated. She squirmed but he held her in place as he suckled her breasts, pausing to kiss just under her breasts and continuing kissing down to her navel. She could feel the building of tension in every fiber of her being. As the kisses reached the triangle of blond hair between her legs they stopped. He pushed her legs open using his hook and kissed her inner thighs as he slipped one finger then another into her moist center. Emma was already so wet for him but he was determined to give her as much pleasure as he could.

She went wild and screamed his name as his fingers coaxed her to come.

"Killian, my love, I need more..."

He pushed another finger inside and used his tongue to bring her to the very edge of destruction. He stopped for a moment and watched as Emma bucked up trying to escape but the cuffs and his arm across her stomach made real movement difficult. He pushed a fourth finger inside her and she let out a strangled cry. He covered her with his mouth again, working his fingers and tongue in tandem to bring her pleasure until she finally came crashing around his fingers.

Pulling back his fingers, he undid Emma's magical restraints. He kissed her inner thigh again and she squealed. He moved to position himself at her entrance, but stopped himself. He wanted her so much, but if she asked him to stop he would. Even if it killed him. It felt like weeks, rather than days, since they had lain together in the field of Middlemist and they had no protection then or now. He didn't want her to regret their lovemaking or the consequences that might follow.

"Only if you are sure..."

"Oh, ... please... yes," she said as she drew him into her; small, short gasps escaping her throat until the moment he was fully seated within her. He began moving, his breathing as harsh and uneven as hers. Emma looked him in the eyes as she meet him thrust for thrust. In their lovemaking there was nothing but Emma and Killian. No Darkness. Just love.

"Emma!" he whispered into her ear, his hand on the right ride of her face while shifting his other arm under her back causing her to arch her back.

Killian felt her tighten around him as her body began to orgasm and he pulled back to watch her face. Emma looked at him intently, her green eyes dark with pleasure. He loved this woman so much and didn't know what he had done to deserve someone like her.

"Killian, please do that again. Put your hand on my face and whisper in my ear again," she demanded.

"As you wish, my princess." Killian growled in her left ear as his hand caressed the right side of her face. He slid his fingers into her hair and growled into her ear again, loving that she was so turned on by his voice.

Emma could feel the tension building within her again. The sound of his voice thrilled her to no end. He could make her come by just talking and had done so before today if she was honest with herself; he was always a talker during sex and Emma loved it. She could barely catch her breath. Killian was now whispering into her ear ( _come on darling, so gorgeous, so wet for me, such a wanton princess aren't you?)_ as he thrust slowly, pulling back so they were almost separated and thrusting back hard. She screamed each time she felt him push as far as he could.

"You like being fucked like this? Don't you, your highness?" Eyebrows arched, looking her in the eyes. When she didn't immediately answer him, Killian pulled out and teased her entrance with his cock. He moved so that the tip of his cock rubbed against her swollen clit. She screamed.

"Yes! Damn you, pirate! I can't take this anymore!"

Neither could he. He re-positioned himself and thrust back into her. She was soaked and he moved easily within her tight walls. He thrust as hard as he could. He leaned down and slid his fingers into her hair again. She pulled his face to hers, devouring him in a kiss.

"Harder!" she whispered as she pulled away. He snapped his hips faster as she commanded and she matched his pace, moving with abandon. She kept her eyes open, staring into his sea blue eyes. She was drowning in them and she knew she was lost. The fire and emotion there would have been overwhelming as hell to the Old Emma. She would have been ready to bolt. But she was done running; she could never imagine leaving him again.

"Oh, Killian, come with me," she managed in a barely audible sound as she shattered around him. Together.

"Emma!" he groaned. She felt his release pour into her as she convulsed with her orgasm. He kept moving within her until he was utterly spent.

Killian collapsed on Emma briefly before he tried to move. He didn't want to crush her but she held him to her, unwilling to let him go.

They lay entwined for minutes or hours, neither of them knew. Time seemed to pass differently because of their immortality. Emma and Killian clung to each other, showing their love over and over again. As Dark Ones they didn't need sleep, however together in each other's arms, sated and in love, they slept the most peaceful sleep either of them had experienced in ages. A peace they both knew wouldn't last.


	2. Before the Storm

_They had returned to Storybrooke somehow. A curse. She couldn't see who had cast it. She saw flashes of Henry, Killian, her parents, Regina and Robin. A lake. Nimue. Hooded figures. She couldn't stop the scene before her, she was restrained by magic. Her family was going to die. How? Why? She got the sense that this was her fault. She felt a stabbing pain. Pain nothing like she had ever felt. She tried healing herself but it didn't work. She could not find the wound inflicting the pain before everything went black_.

Emma awoke screaming. The harder she had tried to see, the less it all made sense. It had to have been a dream. It wasn't real, she told herself, it was nothing but a jumble.

"Oh dearie, it is quite real. The future is a puzzle. In time, you will learn to separate what can be from what will be."

Rumplestiltskin reclined in the chair across the room.

"Be gone, spirit!" Killian said as he sat up next to her. He hadn't seen what she had seen but he'd felt her terror. He was relieved when the demon disappeared.

"It's okay, love. It's just us. The demon is gone."

He wrapped her up in his arms as she cried softly. He kissed her forehead and promised to keep her safe. He never wanted to let her go and held her tight as she drifted back to sleep. Sometime later he realized he too had dozed off because he awoke to green eyes watching his.

"You look so peaceful when you sleep. I want to stay like this. I don't want to leave this room."

"Emma, I think we need to come back to reality." As much as he regretted saying it, they couldn't stay here forever.

"Where is Excalibur? We need to join it with the dagger so we can destroy the Darkness. And then go home."

"It disappeared shortly after you did," she lied, not ready to give him the sword. She could feel the Darkness influencing her to lie but couldn't stop the words from coming out.

She stood up from the bed and in a puff of smoke, her hair was now white again, swept back in a bun at the nape of her neck and she was wearing tight black pants and a black leather jacket that covered her chest and torso, falling away to the sides below her hips.

Killian magicked he clothes on as well, a small part of him relishing the power he had now. He returned to his black leather outfit, similar to ones he'd worn for centuries. Killian regarded Emma and thought about how different she looked now. His missed his Emma. The way she looked before. Although she was still beautiful, just in a darker, more seductive way.

They joined hands and transported to the woods just beyond Granny's. Killian kissed her as though he couldn't get enough. She was like air to him. Emma finally broke off the kissing.

"Alright, enough distractions," she said backing up a little. "I'll scout our path." She wanted to make sure that she could hide Excalibur somewhere nearby so she could think of what to do next.

"I'll go replenish our water supply." He felt as though she was hiding something but said nothing further. He could feel the Darkness mocking him because he had chosen to physically fetch the water instead of summoning it.

Killian started to walk off in the opposite direction of Emma, when he heard new voices, loud whispers in his head, and a physical pull in the pit of his stomach that felt as though he was being dragged. He wondered out loud what was going on, receiving an unsolicited answer from the demon.

"That's the sound of the dagger singing to the sword. If you can hear that, that means Excalibur is quite close."

"No. That's impossible. Emma said it disappeared" he said, trying not to let the demon confuse or twist things.

"Wake up, dearie! Your lover is lying!" Rumplestiltskin shouted. "She has the sword!"

"Why would she lie to me?" trying to talk himself out this manipulation.

"So she can control you. Not that she needs Excalibur. She's quite good at doing that all on her own." Rumplestiltskin said with a wicked smirk on his face.

"What the bloody hell is that supposed to mean?" Killian did not like the implication that what they had shared had been, in some way, tainted by the darkness or driven by the Darkness' need to play games.

"YOU! Get out of here!" Emma was running up from the path towards them.

"Oh, we were just talking about you. Why don't you ask her for yourself?" Rumple said looking back and forth between Emma and Killian.

"Ask me what? Hook? What the hell is going on?" Emma frowned.

"Emma, do you know where Excalibur is?"

"Killian, Rumple is manipulating you. That's what he does." Emma breathed out, avoiding answering the question directly.

Killian could hear the voices and sounds louder than before as she moved closer to him. Killian felt himself losing the strength their love had given him. The Darkness was trying to weaken him. He tried to fight the feeling of anger that the Darkness fed on but it had taken root in the strength of his anger and disappointment.

"Are you lying to me? I can hear it calling to the dagger, Emma. Do you have Excalibur?" Killian could barely think as the Darkness moved into his thoughts deeper than before. The ground felt as though it was about to fall out from under him.

"Yes," Emma said summoning the sword.

"Did you use it on me?" Killian felt betrayal sinking into his heart.

"No, of course not. I was never..."

"Then why not tell me the truth," interrupting her before she could lie again. "Were you afraid I'd ask you for it? You never planned on giving it to me, did you?"

"I did it to protect you. You told me yourself you were not strong enough to resist the darkness."

"Which is why I begged you not to turn me into the bloody Dark One in the first place! But you went and did it anyway!"

"You were dying!" Emma sobbed.

Killian ignored her sobbing.

"You know the worst part Swan? When your own mother wanted to use the dagger to stop you from crushing Merida's heart, I'm the one that convinced her that you needed to make that decision on your own. There's never been a time that I didn't believe in you. Where I didn't trust you! But you clearly don't believe in me anymore, so how am I supposed to fight this?"

"Killian..." she begged.

"Don't!" holding his hand up to her. He waved his hand and transported himself away from her.

Emma kept sobbing, unsure what to do now. She transported herself to the field of Middlemist. She picked up a flower remembering the prior occasions she had been in this field. One happy day where they had leisurely made love with the Middlemist surrounding them, unburdened from the demons in her mind. And the miserable day that she decided to make him the Dark One rather then let him die. The latter was one of the worst moments in her life. She felt the feeling she had in her sleep. That this was all her fault and she had to be the one to fix it. If she could fix it, she could still save their happy ending. Their love. She sat forming her plan as she vowed to do whatever it took to save him.

* * *

Killian reappeared at Merlin's tower. He needed to find Merlin. The Darkness needed him for its plan and Killian couldn't fight it. He had given into weakness. Power is strength, the Voices assured him. He thought about his vengeance and he knew now what he had to do to get it. He didn't even have to think about what spell to use, it was right there in his mind: the knowledge of every Dark One for him to access at will. First he needed Merlin so that they could get back to Storybrooke. Then he'd finally take his vengeance against the Crocodile. He was the reason they were in this bloody mess in the first place.

* * *

Emma acutely felt Killian's use of intense dark magic but she couldn't sense where he was. The Darkness was blocking her out. She felt something pull at her as though a part of him called out to her, but she could feel the strength of the Darkness more. She knew what he was about to do and was not certain she could face him to stop it. Killian's anger and need for vengeance fueled his acceptance of the Darkness rather than love. He was losing the fight. He could end up being consumed by the Darkness. She paused, unsure if the path before her was right. She heard the whispers. She looked into the future, still only seeing bits and pieces of what might come to pass. The Darkness wanted her to use the sword and summon him. She shook her head but she removed the cloaking spell from Excalibur.

"Dark One, I summon thee," she said holding Excalibur in front of her, complying with the request the Darkness had made. Middlemist surrounding her, she watched as he appeared before her.

Killian was quite pissed she was summoning him, not giving him a choice again. It left a bitter taste in his mouth because in everything he had always made sure it was her choice and she had taken his from him. Then she lied to him and tried to control him. So in a moment of weakness he pledged to give the Darkness all that it required of him. Now he thought about what this meant for Emma, her family and felt regret for what he had done. He never wanted to hurt Emma or her family. The Darkness was in control now though, guiding his actions, pushing his love and compassion away behind a door that the Darkness controlled. It was trying to snuff out the light within him but it couldn't do so for some reason and so it had chosen to lock away the things that kept the light going. Killian was starting to feel less and less like himself and knew now he was about to end up behind a door in his own mind watching the Darkness use his form to accomplish its ends.

Killian realized he had appeared in front of Emma and words were coming out of his mouth but he wasn't the one thinking or saying them. The Darkness was drawing on his memories, the ones that told it he didn't like being controlled and what had almost happened the last time he had stupidly fallen under Rumple's control. He watched Emma as she explained why she did what she had. His hesitation had been all the Darkness had needed to lock him behind the door it had created.

He heard Emma say that she loved him and put her hand in his. He fought to push back the Darkness. He managed to break free for a moment.

"I love you too." Pulling her into his arms, he kissed her as hard and as long as he could. He didn't know how long he'd have before the Darkness shoved him back behind the door. He wasn't quite sure why the Darkness feared him, but he could sense something was different in the way the Darkness has chosen to deal with him than it had with others before him. He felt his control slipping and in a blink of an eye he was back in his prison.

Emma felt relief as they walked back to Granny's hand in hand. She had faith that together they could overcome anything. Even being the Dark Ones. Emma shuddered as the feeling from her dream returned. She still could not shake the foreboding shadow she saw when she looked at the future. She knew she shouldn't use dark magic but it seemed harmless when there was something looming and she couldn't quite pinpoint it. She knew the voices pushed her to look harder and further into the future. It was hard to ignore as the voices surged her forward in time but her grasp on Killian's hand felt more of a tether to reality than her dagger and that gave her strength like nothing else could.

It only took a few minutes of walking before she saw her parents and Regina standing in the shade of the tall trees that surrounded Granny's. They stared at her and Killian, shock etched deep in their faces and no words to express what they were thinking.

Emma took a few moments to reassure them that it looked far worse than it actually was and that they were fine. Killian exchanged a few brief words with her father about getting Merlin and headed inside the diner. She felt the loss of his touch acutely and then she felt the stabbing pain again. The world in front of her went dark as the Darkness showed her what she had sensed before.

 _They were back in Storybrooke and Killian had cast the curse. Only it wasn't Killian anymore. He surrendered to the Darkness briefly and had been locked away, the Dark One fully in control now of Killian's form._

 _"The steepest of prices" Merlin's voice echoed in her head as images swirled around in her mind._

Emma tried not to let her panic show on her face but she could see the concern in her parents' eyes. She had to do what came next alone. She waved her hand at her parents and Regina, freezing them in place. She walked at a calm, but quick pace, still holding out a small amount of hope that Killian was still himself and not a pawn of the Darkness. Love had blinded her to reality; she really hoped her vision was wrong.


	3. In the Dark

As Emma reached for the door to Granny's, she sensed it was locked so she unlocked it and walked in. To her horror she saw Nimue standing next to Killian. Killian was holding a heart. Merlin's heart. In her panic she almost missed the surge of Darkness as it tried to take over. Emma fought with all her will to maintain control, forcing the Darkness back. She could hear the voices but her need to protect Killian was stronger. She shut it out and focused.

"You played me?"

"Once you lied about Excalibur, all bets were off." Killian's voice stated. But Emma could tell it wasn't Killian. Her head told her that this was Killian, but her heart told her something else. It was just like when Gold had controlled him. She knew him, the man she loved, and this wasn't him. This was something she feared: this was only the Dark One.

"Go back to whence you came. Back to stone," the Dark One addressed Excalibur. "Now no one can ever control me again."

"Please don't do this," Emma begged. "And you, why are you doing this?" Looking at Nimue, Emma felt intense rage building.

"Don't be naive, Emma. You know Dark Ones never do something without getting something in return."

"What is that?"

"You're still a Dark One. You want the same thing."

Emma could hear the voices whisper about the lake in Storybrooke and a way to beat even death itself. A life for a life: every Dark One ever returned to terrorize the world. Emma felt as though she was going to vomit from the overwhelming images of the future in which all Darkness returned to snuff out the light forever. Fuck that, Emma thought.

"No! I won't let you." Emma turned to Killian and cupped his face in her hands. She willed her message to reach him. "Killian, please don't do this. You once told me that I was your happy ending. If you crush this heart you'll lose that."

"Killian Jones, your lovesick puppy dog told you that," the Dark One drawled. He leaned close to her as though he was going to kiss her and stopped just in front of her face. Then he crushed Merlin's heart.

Emma turned to watch as Merlin crumpled. Just like Graham. It was devastating to watch as the man she loved was reduced to the Dark One's pawn. She knew tears streamed down her face at this point. Hook had put the remains of Merlin's heart into a simmering potion. Merlin knew Killian would cast the Dark curse. He had expected that he would die. That was the only reason why he would be brewing the Dark Curse. Emma felt sadness at the thought that Merlin had known she could not save him. It was her fault he was dead.

"It's over, Emma."

"I told you I'd never abandon you. I'm not going to start now."

"Well I'm sorry, love. Once a curse has been enacted, you can't stop it."

She needed to fix it and she had to think of something fast. Emma thought for a moment about the storybook and the time that her mother drank a potion and removed memories of her father. It changed her personality. Maybe if she removed the memories of the last 2 days, Killian's personality would resurface and lock the Dark One down. It was a tenuous idea at best. Her gut told her this was doomed to fail. Something would eventually trigger the memory at some point or another and then she would be dealing with only the Dark One.

"I may not be able to stop it, but I can make you forget why you cast it." With a snap of her finger she rendered him unconscious and then summoning a dreamcatcher, pulled his memories of the Dark One. "Or that you were even the Dark One in the first place."

Emma felt heartsick at the sight of Killian's body lying on the diner floor. She had watched him die. Twice! Once was devastating and it had been in an alternate reality and thus not truly real. The second time she had just truly lowered her walls and let him in and trusted when he had said the future was nothing to fear. He couldn't have been more wrong because mere hours later she watched as he bled out on the floor of Granny's. She threw herself into the dark to save him though she had maintained a strong hold on who she was and refused to let the Darkness fully rule her.

"When you wake, you'll be the man you were, the man I love, the man who loves me." She pressed a kiss to his lips. She lingered there a few moments before standing, realizing she had moments to finish hijacking the Dark Curse and make it her own.

"Clever, dearie. You'll have to do more than that to make sure he doesn't remember he is a Dark one," Rumple's figure said looming in the corner.

Emma summoned her family to the diner and then used the dreamcatcher to take their memories from the last 6 weeks.

"I need to erase the memories of everyone who knew I turned Hook into a Dark One."

"Right, because no one could possible understand it. Why trust your family to help when you can do it ALL yourself?" Rumple quarried.

"This is my fault. I'm the one who's going to fix this." Emma knew the Darkness wanted her alone, afraid of what she might do should she would seek help and trust her family. She should go to those she loves, just as she had told Killian. It was impossible to resist the urge to go it alone. The Darkness knew she put up her walls and pushed people away when she was afraid. And right now Emma was absolutely terrified of the consequences of her actions. It was exploiting her weakness because it wanted her to fail. She wouldn't - no, couldn't fail

"By using Dark magic to add a memory wipe to the curse? But you won't like where it leads. Or worse; you will," Rumple taunted. Emma added the dreamcatcher to the curse and walked out of the kitchen.

Emma knelt on the cold floor of the diner and cradled Killian's head in her lap. She brushed the hair back off of his face and reminded herself that she had only just begun. The worst felt as though it was yet to come. She would have to deceive Killian and her whole family to keep them from discovering her secret. She had figured out what she'd need to do to destroy the Darkness once and for all. She hoped she'd have the strength to do what needed to be done.

* * *

 **Present - Storybrooke**

"Emma!"

Emma heard her parents and Regina enter the house. She remained where she was, too emotionally exhausted to move.

"Emma, what happened?" Her mother said as she knelt beside the couch.

"Mom...," she said with a sob. Sitting up and hugging her mother, she felt a spark of hope within her. It pushed back the Darkness she struggled against at all times.

Mary Margaret didn't say anything. She just held her daughter as she wept. Emma needed her mom, a hot cocoa and a good cry. Her mother seemed to know this and after she helped Emma move to the other couch, she disappeared to the kitchen for a few minutes and returned with the desired cocoa. Regina sat with her and her mother sat across from her in an armchair.

Her father came back in the room and informed them that the dreamcatchers were gone. He hadn't stuck around for very long after she had said they WERE in the garage and so he hadn't heard her say that Killian had taken them and disabled her magic.

Emma decided had to fight the urge to shut them out and pushed back against the Darkness. She told her parents and Regina everything that happened in Camelot between her and Killian except making love in the rooms above Granny's. She still probably shared more than her father wanted to know but he sat on the arm of the chair her mother was sitting in and listened to her explain how the hell she got herself to this point.

"You turned Hook into the Dark One?" Regina exclaimed incredulously.

"It was the only way to save him." Emma was certain that she was being judged. By Regina. The woman who had done much worse than Emma. She knew that her own constant internal struggle with the Darkness had clouded her judgement and forced her actions to take a different path than she would normally take.

"And you didn't think of the consequences to everyone else?"

No. The Darkness within her thought. She quelled the voices and looked at Regina.

"I couldn't just let him die. You can understand that." Regina, of all people, would most understand what Emma had done for love.

"Yes, but now we have a bigger problem," Regina sighed.

Emma explained that she hadn't meant for any of this to happen. She had thought she could deal with it on her own and try to get rid of the Darkness by killing Zelena. Her mother and Regina protested her cold blooded murder plot, refusing to believe that murder was the right course of action. Emma had let the Darkness convince her that the best plan was to isolate herself.

"But when I did that, there was no one to give me hope," she turned to her mother. "Or tell when I was being stupid," she explained as she turned back to Regina.

"Well you're being stupid! So stop it!" Regina exclaimed. She got up and started pacing behind the couch. "We need to clean up this mess and figure out what the hell is Captain Dark One up to."

* * *

Killian's prison wasn't made of walls but rather the absence of them. Except for a small candle on the table next to the chair he sat in, it was darkness as far as he could see. Appropriate given that this was all in his head and the Darkness sought to keep him trapped so that he couldn't break out and take control back. He could sometimes see what was going on in reality. It was easier to take control of his body again at those moments, almost too easy. He thought of his love for Emma and how much he needed to see her and suddenly he was at Regina's house. Merida was about to shoot Em in the leg. He sent Merida flying through the air and the fall to the floor rendered her unconscious.

"Don't worry, love. A broken knee is nothing on a broken heart. Isn't that right, Swan?"

He thought a moment about what he could say to her now. He'd have been cruel to her. He knew the only reason the Darkness wouldn't immediately lock him back in his prison was if he let the Darkness influence his words to her. His words needed to cut deep enough that she would seek help from her family to stop him. He needed her to believe that he wasn't there anymore, which was true except for the briefest snippets of time like this. The Darkness had only let him out to torment him; he knew it. It wanted to break him; to give him hope and then snuff it out.

"What is this? I expected to find you and the heroes huddled over a mountain of books trying to figure out my terrible plan."

"That's not why you're here. You're here because you still have feelings for me." Emma was very perceptive and knew him so well. He had to resist the urge to grab her in his arms and kiss her. He felt his control over himself slipping and the Darkness edging back in.

"Oh, Swan. Of course I still have feelings for you -" he paused for dramatic affect as her face lit up.

"Anger. Hatred. Disappointment." Watching the light leave her eyes was excruciating, but he needed to push her further.

"You don't mean that," Emma protested. Killian knew he didn't truly mean it but he couldn't say that.

"When you tethered me to Excalibur, you opened my eyes. And I now see you for what you really are... an anchor. Ha! And I see clearly now that you were nothing more than a pretty, blond distraction. But guess what, Swan? I am a free man now. And you will never hold me back from getting what I want again."

"Hook.. Killian.. Whatever deal you made to get your revenge on Gold, it's not worth it." Emma reasoned. "The Darkness is using you. It doesn't care what you want. It only cares what it wants."

Killian knew she could see his struggle on his face. He wanted to be free of the Darkness. He had told her he wasn't strong enough to handle the Darkness and that was still true. He couldn't only hold it off for a few minutes at a time. He was a pawn but she wasn't. She could still survive this if she gave him up.

"Well you're only a pawn if you don't know you're being used. As long as I get what I want, I don't give a damn about the rest. And you of all people should understand that."

"Everything I did, I did for you." Killian knew it was true, even if she had ignored his wishes. Even after everything he loved her more than anything, which was why he had to save her. He knew then what he would have to say to push her over the edge. To make her believe he was well and truly lost to the Darkness.

"Well, you see, that's your problem, Swan. You're so afraid of losing the people that you love that you push them away. And that's why you'll always be an orphan. You don't need some villain swooping in to destroy your happiness. You do that quite well all on your own."

"Why are you doing this?" Tears ran down her cheeks. Killian resisted the urge to wipe them away. He must continue with this farce because he only had moments before he lost control.

"Because... I want to hurt you... like you hurt me." He wished that he could have seen another way to get her to this point. He was a dead man on borrowed time. Something he'd been for a long time.

He disappeared from Regina's house and appeared on his ship. Killian tried to fight his way out to no avail. He felt like he was watching a movie of himself as he fought Rumplestiltskin and the Darkness let him keep Excalibur because it wanted Rumple to think that he had won.

When he had gone back to check on the dreamcatchers he found that Emma had managed, with Henry's help, to steal the dreamcatchers and she no doubt knew what the Darkness was planning. It was too bloody late though because the Darkness summoned all the bloody Dark Ones to Storybrooke using Rumple's blood. It intended to kill Emma's family to make it happen. At some point, Regina found him at the docks and tried to break through to him, but the Darkness attempted to choke her before he managed to take control of his hand and stop it. He didn't know how long it had been since he had encountered Regina but he could hear the voices of the Dark Ones whispering to him.

The Darkness, still being a part of Emma, knew that she intended to use Excalibur to destroy herself, taking the Darkness with her. The Darkness tasked him with getting Excalibur back from her and in this one task; it truly had his full cooperation. He wouldn't see her hurt any further than she had been already. It didn't take much to get Excalibur from her, but he still wasn't strong enough to overcome the Darkness so what good would it do him.


	4. Lost to Me

**Author's Note:** This was such an emotional chapter to write but I hope you enjoy it. Again, reviews are always appreciated.

* * *

They were by the lake now, a thick fog was rolling across the pitch black water. Henry, her mom, her dad, Regina, Robin and Gold all about to be taken to the underworld. Emma hurried to her family and embraced them. Emma listened as Regina tried to reason with Hook, who stood watching, that he couldn't destroy another family like he had done with his father many years ago. Emma wanted to tell Regina it was hopeless. Killian had fallen to the Dark One.

"You have to decide what kind of man you want to be." Regina pleaded.

"It's time," Nimue said as she walked toward them, a wicked smile played on her lips. A boat with a hooded figure at its helm moved towards shore, ready to collect those who were damned.

The bitch seriously should've stayed dead, Emma thought. Emma knew she had to do something. She stepped forward to try to stop them but Nimue cast a spell restricting her airway. She couldn't breathe or even move. Emma felt a sense of dread as the first vision she had in Camelot began to play out in real life. All of the pieces falling into place. She had truly failed to save them. Her plan to take the Darkness in and use Excalibur to sacrifice herself had failed. Killian had the sword now. She looked at him pleadingly, praying he would break free of the Darkness and help her destroy it once and for all. She could see the expression on his face change as he fought the Darkness for control. She looked him in the eyes and she knew it was him.

"That's enough," he shouted. He had watched Nimue torture Emma and he couldn't bear to see her in pain. He fought like hell to free himself from the Darkness. He was strong enough. She made him want to be a better man and he had lost sight of that in a moment of weakness.

"What do you think you are you doing?" Nimue demanded.

"Being the man I want to be."

"You can't stop us," she laughed

"Yes, I can." He raised Excalibur in front of him, using every ounce of strength he possessed to draw Nimue and all the other Dark Ones into the sword. The sword was vibrating, the evil contained within held by sheer strength of will.

"Killian, you can't do this!" She begged him, knowing what he intended.

"We both know there's no other way, love. We have to hurry. The Darkness won't stay trapped in Excalibur much longer. Take it."

"No!"

"You have to help me, Swan. Take it!" He held the sword out to her. His grip on the sword was slipping. It was hard to manage with just one hand.

"I can't. It should be me."

"Your family needs you. If anyone deserves to go to the underworld, it's me. You were right. I was weak. So let me make up for it now by being strong."

"I don't want to lose you," she sobbed.

"And I don't want to lose you. But you have to let me go. Let me die a hero. That's the man I want you to remember, please!"

She took the sword. It was heavier than she remembered, the Darkness weighing it down in an attempt to escape. She held the sword in one hand and closed the distance between them. She placed her arms around him and kissed him.

"I love you." She knew she'd never recover from this. From him. Loving him and losing him was going to break her as nothing had or could.

"I love you too." He loved her more than anything and hoped she would be able to move on without him.

"It's okay." He knew that this was something she would try to blame herself for. He needed to reassure her that he didn't blame her. He tried to keep a brave look on his face, though, just for a moment, he thought about the fact that he was about to die however he couldn't turn back now. He thought he was prepared but the pain as she ran him through with Excalibur was beyond anything he anticipated. She wrapped her arm around him as he faltered. Her sobbing was heart wrenching. He placed his hand on her cheek as he had when they had made love. He cradled her face in his hand, trying to comfort her.

He broke off her embrace, moving in front of her. He wanted to stare into her emerald eyes. They stood, leaning against each other's foreheads and touching their noses to one another's. Suddenly a blinding white light radiated off of her. In an instant, she was in her red leather jacket and her blond hair flowed down her back. She pulled back and withdrew Excalibur. He truly felt weak now; he knew he didn't have much longer. He began to fall but Emma caught him and eased him to the ground. He looked her in the eyes, still red and swollen from tears and felt lucky to have had what time he had had with her. He wished for more but he knew it was just too late. Maybe in another life he thought as the blackness enveloped him.

* * *

Emma didn't know how long she had wept, clinging on to his body, refusing to let go. The awful pain from her vision had been the pain she had inflicted on Killian. She had felt it when she stabbed him, it nearly knocked her over. She wished that this was just a nightmare; that she would wake and find he was alright.

"Emma," her father's gentle voice said as he placed he hands on Killian's eyes closing them for the final time. "You have to let them take him."

Emma realized that the paramedics were standing with a gurney waiting. She couldn't let go. She wouldn't. Still sobbing, Emma sat up, closed her eyes and held her hand above his body. She could feel the preservation spell cloaking his body. She held onto his hand as the paramedics lifted him into a body bag on the waiting gurney. She felt her mother behind her and her low whisper.

"Emma, you have to let go." Her parents together held her in place as the paramedics began to move away.

Emma dropped Killian's hand and it suddenly felt like the world was closing in on her. She knew she would have fallen had her mother's arms not wrapped her in their embrace. She felt her father holding her up as her knees almost gave way. After a few long moments, Emma heard a voice that shook her out of the foggy haze of her mind.

"Mom?" Henry's voice said, breaking a little.

Emma sobered for a moment, turned and gathered her son into her arms. She felt awful she hadn't thought of Henry sooner.

"I'm sorry, kid. You shouldn't have had to watch that."

"Mom, I loved him too. I never really got to know my father, he was only here for a few weeks. Killian taught me about him and what he was like when he was my age. He became my friend and taught me how to sail, how to navigate and so much more. He was the closet thing to a true dad that I've known."

Henry's words broke her heart. The dam of tears that she had that she had been trying to hold back broke. She knew the tears were freely flowing down her cheeks again. She felt Regina's hand on her shoulder.

"Henry, you should come home with me for a little while. Emma needs some time to herself."

Regina transitioned Henry into her embrace and looked at Emma. Their eyes met in silent understanding. Emma felt guilt at not putting their son first but she knew Henry would be taken care by his other mother while she grieved.

"Thank you, Regina. Henry, I promise we will talk more soon. Mom, Dad - I just need time. Please don't follow me." Emma thought of their home and closed her eyes, transporting herself there. She had learned a few useful things from the Darkness.

She stood in the entryway and looked around. Her gaze stopped on the kitchen table, her mind recalling a vision she had when she was still the Dark One. So different from the first, this was clear and detailed where the first was incoherent and vague.

 _She was sitting at the table in the kitchen as Killian and Henry cooked breakfast. Seven months pregnant, her feet were swollen so they had insisted she sit. Killian was upset she had woken and come downstairs because he had wanted to bring her breakfast in bed. She couldn't sleep long after he left their bed in the mornings. Emma was distracted by a kick from within. She placed her hand on her stomach._

 _"Killian, come here!" she demanded._

 _He turned and was at her side in an instant._

 _"What is it darling wife?"_

 _She grabbed his hand and placed it on her stomach._

 _"Do you feel that?" She asked. Their baby kicked again a few times. Killian's smile at the sensation went from ear to ear._

 _"You have a little pirate in you," he growled low into her ear. He faced her and kissed her soundly. "Our son ..."_

 _"Killian, how many times must I tell you. My mother used my grandmother's charm and it indicated that our child will be a girl."_

 _"Lad or lass doesn't matter to me. Just as long as you both are healthy."_

 _"Killian, I have done this before, you know? Modern medical technology here is pretty different from what you may have experienced, old man." She grinned at his frown._

 _Henry set the plates of pancakes on the table. He sat watching his parents playful banter._

 _"Pancakes are getting cold. Mom, you should eat," Henry said handing her a fork._

 _Killian sat down at the table and they all ate their breakfast. Killian and Henry talked about Henry's school work and his weekly swordsmanship lessons. Emma sat silently listening to her husband and son and sighed. Her True Loves. She felt so much joy in that moment she could barely contain the feeling_.

The vision had been one she was sure would come to pass. Or rather hoped would come to pass. Rumplestiltskin, the manifestation of the Darkness, had warned her that she would learn to distinguish what can be from what will be. She had seen so many possibilities of the future but hadn't been able to filter out the clutter from the truth. Emma laid down on the couch in the living room staring at the ceiling. Emma never knew it was possible to cry so much, her vision blurry and unclear, she tried to focus on the good moments they had had together.

Emma twirled his ring in her hand. So many things were impossible now. Their future was no more and Emma had no idea how to move on. He had called her an anchor in their heated conversation, but he didn't realize he was her anchor. Without him she felt adrift, drowning in her emotions and the visions she had seen as the Dark One. All she could focus on were the missed opportunities and experiences. Reliving the possibilities of a future that would never come to pass was the worst sort of torture.

* * *

Killian opened his eyes and looked around his unfamiliar surroundings. He was lying in a large bed in a room with a window seat overlooking the harbor. He had seen this room before, but not in person. It was their house. How did I get here, he thought. He was alone in the bed but the space next to him was still warm. He laid his head on the other pillow, inhaling deep. It smelled of her. Emma was here. What happened at the lake must have been a bad dream because there was no bleeding wound in his abdomen, no scar on his neck. Killian sat up and walked over to a dark mahogany wardrobe, in which he found his clothes.

His brace was laid out on a chair next to his wardrobe but his hook was nowhere to be found. Perhaps Emma took it as a prank again. He'd ask her where it was as soon as he found her. He looked around the room finding the door to her closet and then the connected master bathroom he remembered from the advertisement.

Killian showered and then dressed himself. He could smell coffee brewing downstairs. He walked out of their bedroom passing stairs leading up to the third floor. That lead to what he had supposed they would use as an office. It had amazing see views, one of the reasons he had liked this house. He passed three other bedrooms on his way to the stairs leading to the ground floor. He looked around the kitchen and living room but Emma was nowhere to be found. He checked the basement and still hadn't found her. When he came back into the kitchen he found an empty coffee mug in the kitchen sink. She wouldn't have gone to work without saying goodbye. Maybe she had texted him.

Killian went back to their bedroom to check his phone but found no messages. He looked around the room again. He noticed that she had displayed some pictures on a long white dresser on the far wall. He walked over and picked up one in a small black frame. It was a picture from the party after they had defeated the Snow Queen. His arm was wrapped around her shoulders and she leaned against him. The picture had caught them both in the middle of a laugh. He set it down and picked up another. Him and Henry at the helm on the Jolly Roger. Another picture of Emma, Henry, her parents, Regina, Robin, Roland and himself at the celebration just before Emma had become the Dark One.

How long ago had that been? He couldn't remember. It felt like ages since that moment.

He thought maybe Emma had gone up to the office. He ascended the stairs and entered a round room. Three large windows each with a window seat let light into the room. It was filled with dark bookshelves and volumes of old books. A large fireplace took up a quarter of the wall space and two leather chairs sat in front of it. It was just the cozy space he had imagined that they could curl up in a chair or window seat and read book or talk or simply enjoy a quiet moment.

Killian heard a cry from downstairs. So much for a quiet moment. He rushed down to the room the noise had come from. It was a child crying. Killian opened the door to discover a nursery. A crib in the center of the room, a wooden rocking chair and stool in the corner and several shelves filled with books and toys. He entered the room but found it empty. He looked around the room trying to determine where the sound had come from when a toy on one of the shelves caught his eye.

A ship in a bottle. He walked over to inspect the ship. It was identical to the Jolly Roger. The way it had looked when Ursula summoned it from the Enchanted Forest. He placed it back on the shelf and glanced at the crib. How many times had he dreamt of a room such as this where he and Emma would welcome a lad or lass of their own? This wasn't real. He knew it in his heart.

They had never lived in this house together. He had planned it, of course, but things rarely went to plan. Especially in Storybrooke. He had intended to ask her father for his permission to marry her and propose to her when they had returned from Camelot. He'd marry his princess with as much pomp and fanfare as her parents required and they would build a life and family here in this home.

None of that had happened. The events at the lake flooded into his mind. He had given her the sword and asked her to help him end the Darkness. He was dead. Stuck in a reminder of a life not lived. Of what might have been. This was his own personal hell and there was no escape.


	5. The Unexpected

**A/N:** I hope you enjoy this chapter. Reviews are always appreciated.

* * *

Emma hadn't moved from the couch. She hadn't eaten, showered or slept. She had immersed her mind in the false visions she had had of the future, trying to see him in anyway she could. She realized had been lying on her couch for two days when she heard whispers in her mind. At first she thought it might be the imaginings of her grief but after a few minutes of paying close attention, the whispers led her to transport herself to Gold's pawn shop. She texted him and demanded he meet her at his shop. When he arrived and she asked him about the dagger, he admitted everything. Gold was the fucking Dark One again! The thought repeated in her head over and over. Emma was beyond irate.

"You found a loophole and betrayed us all!"

"It's what I do. It's the man I am."

"Well then, Dark One, now that you have your power back, you're going to do something for me."

"Why would I do anything for you?"

"Because I still have magic. I am willing to bet I can get to Belle and tell her everything before you can kill me."

"Don't test me," he said through gritted teeth.

"Don't test me! You really want to take that chance? That she will, once again, know the kind of man you really are?"

"What do you want, Miss Swan?"

"You're going to open the portal to the Underworld. I am going to bring him back and you're going to help me."

And Gold agreed to her request. She shouldn't be surprised though. Something Nimue had once told her came to mind. Dark Ones never do something without getting something in return. Emma really didn't care what that was.

A tiny, nagging voice within her wished she could figure out a way to stop him for good. He was the one to blame for the pain that affected so many she cared about. The curse that brought everyone to this world had been his plan. For a brief moment she mourned a life she never lived but it pushed to the back of her mind because she couldn't regret that this life had given her Henry. And whether or not she liked it, Gold was Henry's grandfather and thus family. She definitely hadn't expect that odd twist of fate.

 _Happy endings aren't always what you expect that they will be._

She could hear her mother's words to her when they had been sent back to the Enchanted Forest echo in her mind. Emma's journey had taught her that. She certainly never expected to love Captain Hook. Killian. Every thought brought her mind back to him. Emma could feel the tears flowing as she had relived their last moments on an endless, tortuous repeat.

 _"Don't do that to yourself, love. When my brother died, I kept reliving those last horrible moments."_

She could hear his voice in her head and remembered the comfort he had given when she had thought her mother dead. Fate had brought them together and she knew in her heart it wasn't to end up losing each other like her parents had so many times. Her parents love lead them to always find other and Emma knew in her heart she and Killian shared the same love. And come hell or high water, their love would overcome anything. She had lost him too many times and she'd be damned if she was going to let Gold get away with tarnishing Killian's sacrifice.

* * *

 **Mom, can you have everyone meet at the loft. I need to talk to you.** \- Emma

 **Sure, honey. Anything. What time?** \- Mom

 **In 30 minutes.** \- Emma

As Emma climbed the steps to her family's loft thirty minutes later, she felt nervous and unsure how to face everyone. The last time she had seen her family she had pushed them away because she was overwhelmed with her grief. Wrecked by losing Killian. If Emma was honest with herself, she had known from when they had first met in the Enchanted Forest that they had a connection. A connection that had scared her and made her chain him up and run like hell. She hadn't been able to pinpoint or fully process what it meant at that time. She had been too closed off to love. When she started to let love in to her heart, she began to understand herself better but admitting to herself why she had been so terrified to fully commit, to love without restraint, had taken Regina using the dagger to force her to it. Loving Killian completely meant giving him the power to cause her the worst pain possible but she trusted and loved him enough to be willing to open herself to the potential for the greatest love she would ever know.

When she had been forced to let him go and to kill him herself, the pain she had feared became real. She had lost a part of herself when he died, the last few days were proof of that. She was a listless as a ship in the doldrums (Killian would have loved her use of a nautical metaphor as he had spent countless hours trying to teach her about sailing and the terms associated) Now that she had a way to get him back, she had felt such a desperate need to save him and nothing was going to stop her. She was going to march into the underworld and rescue her True Love. Now she just had to tell her family.

Emma slipped her key into the lock and opened the door quietly, not certain what to expect on the other side. She was immediately met by her mother. Mary Margaret gathered her into her arms and held her there. Emma returned the embrace, glad for her mother's love.

"Hey Mom," Emma said looking about the room. Henry, Regina and Robin were at the counter drinking cocoa and chatting with her father.

"Emma, you said you wanted to talk to us?" Concern caused the pitch of her voice to be higher than normal.

"Yeah, Mom. I just found out that Gold is the Dark One again." She blurted it out without much thought.

"What the hell?!" Regina turned and was paying close attention now.

Emma walked to the counter and grabbed the cup her mother had set out for her. She took a sip, then sighed.

"Yes, he tricked us. He used magic to channel all the Darkness into himself. Now that he is the Dark One again I have a way to get to Killian."

"You're going to hell?" Her mother questioned incredulously.

"I'm getting him back. It's not fair to Killian."

"But you just overcame the darkness." Emma could see the concern in her father's face.

"Emma, you can't give into darkness again," Mary Margaret said.

"I'm not, I'm giving into love." Emma paused, not certain how the next part of her plan would go over with her parents. "You two share a heart, so will we." Emma watched her parents as shock washed over them.

"Emma, are you certain? It might not work," her mother tried to reason.

"I love him and he loves me. I have faith that True Love will be enough." Emma stared at her parents for a long moment almost daring them to counter her. "You would go through hell if it was dad, wouldn't you, mom? Regina, if it was Robin?"

"I suppose it could work," Regina conceded.

"It will work." Emma could feel the seed of hope root deeper in her soul.

"I'm sorry, but how does one get to the underworld?" Robin's inquiry broke the silence.

"Gold will open the portal at the lake and summon the Ferryman. From there one travels to the Gates of the Underworld. Because we are still living and not taking the place of any other souls, we will be sent to a sort of purgatory. A place where those with unfinished business reside until they come to terms with their lives but most do not and thus remain in purgatory." Emma hoped she explained it correctly. She hadn't been listening very well when Gold explained how exactly this crazy plan would work.

"Well, we are coming with you," Mary Margaret stated as if it was already decided.

"No! Mom, what about Neal? You can't just leave him here alone. This is dangerous." Emma was grateful for the support but she didn't want anyone else to be hurt because of her. What had happened to Killian was unbearable and if anything happened to anyone else she'd never forgive herself.

"The fairies can take care of Neal for a few days and it will be okay." Her mother gathered up the used mugs and began washing the dishes, like the discussion was a run of the mill thing one talked about.

"You can't talk us out of helping you, Emma. We will find him because that's what we do in this family." Her father encircled her in his strong arms and held her tightly. His words were comforting. Her parents finally accepted Killian as part of their complicated family unit.

Emma felt like she might cry again. Family meant having unconditional love and support and they would not let her face this journey alone. Their love meant a lot but Emma felt incomplete without Killian and she had faith that she could succeed in finding and saving him. Heaven help those that stood in her way.

* * *

Killian was awoken by a blinding light. He rubbed his eyes and looked around. He was in the library of their house. How did I get here, he thought not certain he'd ended up there. His memories seemed unclear and covered with a dense fog when he tried hard to remember he had ended up curled in a chair with a book.

The light sounds of laughter cut through the fog. Emma and Henry's laughter. Another that was unfamiliar. Killian went down the stairs, stopping in their bedroom. Light shone through the windows and illuminated the room. A dresser on the on all caught his attention. He walked over and found various photos of himself, Emma and Henry. He picked up one that seemed new but he didn't remember when it was taken. It was in Granny's and there was a sign that said "Happy Birthday, Liam" hanging in the background. Henry had his arm around a young boy that looked no older than seven or eight years old. Killian recognized the boy: it was his half brother. They had adopted his brother. Emma standing next to the boys and was leaning against him in the photo and holding a small bundle wrapped in a light pink blanket. They had a daughter?

Killian stared at the picture, his confusion growing. How don't I remember any of this? How could I forget my family? What is the last thing I remember? He panicked, combing his mind for some detail that would lend clarity to the current situation. He found none. Hearing the laughter again, Killian decided to go downstairs where the laughter seemed to be emanating. When he descended the stairs to the ground level and found it empty, an odd sense of deja vu hit him.

An overwhelming feeling of loss plagued him for what had seemed like such a wonderful dream.

"Was this just a dream?" he wondered out loud.

"More of a test," an unseen voice countered.

"Who the bloody hell is that? What the devil is going on?"

"Funny you should ask." A man suddenly appeared in front of him. The man was the same height as Killian was with dark brown hair, black eyes and as dressed in an immaculate black suit and red tie. "Name's Hades, God of the Underworld. Welcome."

"The underworld? I'm dead?" Killian thought about how he had gotten here again and forced himself to look deep into his mind. The last thing that came to mind was lying on cold, damp ground as he watched Emma sobbing. Suddenly, it hit him full force, all the memories rushed in at once. Killian fell to his knees as he heard strangled sob and he realized he was the one who had made the noise. He remember asking her to kill him and he remember the first time he had awoken in this strange place. None of it was real. He was dead.

"Yes, I've been waiting a long time for you, Killian Jones. A higher power sought to hide you here in this place out of a misguided belief I wouldn't find you. However, your soul is mine and I have come up with the perfect eternity for you. I would say you'll enjoy it, but I'd be lying." Hades smirked at him, a terrible glint in his eyes.

"This isn't my punishment?" Killian was afraid he had even asked. Such a stupid fucking question.

"For centuries, you have avoided death. And then your fate was changed and you ended up here. You expected to be greeted fire and brimstone and that's just a fraction of what awaits you, Captain Hook. This subterfuge gave you a brief respite but now the fun really begins." Hades' sinister laughter terrified Killian to the core.


	6. I Will Always Find You

Emma and Regina had argued for over an hour about taking Henry with them. Emma wanted Henry to stay in Storybrooke but Regina was insistent they take him otherwise he'd find his way on his own. Emma eventually conceded that Regina had a point. The kid was stubborn and wanted to help, so Emma knew that it was better to keep him with them and could at least keep an eye on him.

Argument settled, they set off to meet her parents and Robin Hood at the park. They had taken the children to the fairies and had promised to meet with them as soon as they were ready. Emma wasn't sure she was ready, she was afraid of what she would find when they descended to the underworld or more accurately what she was worried she wouldn't find. She knew in her heart he was there because he definitely had unfinished business: her. And the life they had planned to build. The life we are going to build when I find him, she corrected. Emma realized Henry and Regina were a few paces ahead of her and ran to catch up. They reached the park and the lake within a few minutes and found Robin and David talking in hushed tones while Mary Margaret was simply staring out at the water.

"Where's Gold," Emma pondered. She knew he wouldn't break their deal, but she still wasn't sure he wouldn't find a way to betray them if it served him best.

"Right here, Miss Swan." He appeared in front of her, his newly forged dagger in his hand.

"Well, looks like this is a larger search party than anticipated. Are you certain this is the wisest course of action?"

"Each person is here of their own free will to help find Killian," Emma said smiling at each member of her family, feeling truly blessed to have their support.

Gold took the dagger to his hand, outstretched over the water, pulling back to ask again.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Just do it," Emma watched as he cut his hand and the blood hit the surface of the lake. The wound was gone almost as quickly as he had inflicted it, the only race of injury was the blood that dripped from the dagger. He wiped the blood from it as a heavy fog rolled across the lake.

Emma turned her attention from Gold to a black wooden boat emerging from the fog, a dark hooded figure at the helm. She walked out into the water, her family following her footsteps to the boat. Emma clutched at the necklace bearing Killian's ring, hanging in its permanent location around her neck, drawing strength from it as she had before.

"Killian, I will find you. I will always find you," she spoke the words into the darkness of the night, willing him to somehow know she would never given up on them. That she was coming for him. She boarded the boat and it begin to move and then everything around her went black.

* * *

Emma awoke to the familiar feel of a soft, worn leather, one she had slept against countless times before. How did I end up in my car? She was throughly confused as she looked around. Sounds from the back seat startled her.

"Hey, Emma." Neal sat up from the back seat.

"Neal?!" Definitely the last person Emma would have expected to see which sent a twinge of guilt through her.

"Yeah. It's great to see you, Emma," Neal smiled.

"Where are we? Is this a dream?"

"No. Think of this as a long distance call from an old friend."

"It's really you," Emma couldn't help smiling back.

"How is our son?"

"Great. He ... misses his dad. He's growing up so fast," Emma couldn't help the tear that escaped as she thought of how her son hadn't really gotten a chance to really know his father. A million questions sprang into Emma's mind.

"Is this the underworld? I was on my way to the underworld," Emma said quietly. She wondered if the dead knew about what happened after they passed on.

"I know that's where you're headed. That's kinda why I'm here. Don't go, Emma," Neal's tone suddenly took on a serious note. "Once you get there it's not an easy place to get out of. I know you're trying to save Hook, but trust me on this: this won't end they way you think it will."

Emma was shocked that he was trying to talk her out of saving Killian. She wasn't sure what to say.

"I didn't know I could do this. Otherwise I'd have come for you," Emma blurted out. She felt guilty for saying she'd have come because it wouldn't have been for the same reasons she had go after Killian. She knew that if she had come for Neal it would have been solely for Henry's benefit.

"No, you couldn't. I'm not there. I'm not in limbo, Emma." Neal looked at her with a soft expression, almost as though he knew what she was thinking. "I don't have any unfinished business. The underworld is a place for people with unfinished business and that's not me. I'm someplace... someplace where I'm happy."

"But does that mean that Hook is there? That I can get him?!" Emma cried, desperately seeking confirmation that her quest was possible.

"Yes. He's there," Neal sighed.

She loved Neal and probably always would: he was her first love however what she and Killian shared was more powerful and lasting. With Neal, Emma had mourned him and moved on, as it seemed had Neal. With Killian, she couldn't see a future for herself any longer without him in it. He had had the patience of a saint with her, loving her far longer than she had loved him. Once she had opened her heart to him she realized it wasn't hers any longer. It was his and that had frightened her, until she almost lost him in Camelot and started them down this path.

"I can spilt my heart and give it to him. It could work," Emma

"Emma, you need to stop what you're doing before it's too late," Neal said, caution in his voice. "I'm here because I care for you, Emma."

Emma stared at Neal for a few long seconds. She was angry he would try to talk her out of saving Killian. If he knew from wherever he was that she was going to the underworld to save Hook, then he had to know why she was doing it. Why she decided to defy the laws of the universe that said "dead was dead."

"I can't," Emma said, her voice breaking. Her emotions threatened to overwhelm her.

"I figured," Neal sighed. "But I had to try." He reached over the seat and kissed her softly on the forehead. "I love you, Emma. Always have and always will." He got of the car and walked off until Emma couldn't see him any longer.

Emma awoke with a start, lying on the floor of the boat that she had apparently never left.

"Emma! Are you all right?" her mother said, gently brushing her hand over Emma's forehead and pushing back the locks of hair that had fallen across her face. "You passed out."

"I'm okay. I saw Neal. He appeared to me, told me not to go after Hook. He warned me about the dangers. Neal isn't here, he said he didn't have any unfinished business."

"You saw my dad?" Henry exclaimed, clearly paying attention to what she was saying now.

"Yeah, he's not in the underworld. He said he is someplace happy," Emma said touching Henry's cheek lovingly.

"I never got to say goodbye: I didn't even truly know who he was when he died. I don't understand how he couldn't have unfinished business. I thought I would be that unfinished business." Henry sobbed.

"Henry, your father knows you love him. No curse or spell could change that." Emma gathered Henry into her arms. She looked at her parents over the kid's head and saw her mother was crying and her father bearing an expression of sadness etched in features. She knew they were trying to do the same thing as her: figure out how to find the right thing to say to a child about the loss of a loved one. Instead of words though, they just gathered them both into their arms for a family hug.

"We are here," Gold said, coming from the helm of the boat to see what they were doing. Emma was silently grateful he hadn't heard what she had said about Neal. It'd be a talk for another time when she wasn't still upset about what Gold had done.

They disembarked and walked down the dock into a thick heavy fog. When the fog cleared, they all stopped in their tracks, shocked by what they saw. Storybrooke. Or some twisted version of it. Emma barely registered what Gold said about this underworld and the souls in it. She directed everyone to split up and meet at Granny's in 15 minutes.

Her parents, Henry and Gold reconvened at the appointed time with no signs of Killian. Apparently Regina and Robin ran into her mother and hadn't returned yet. Gold, frustrated with the group's lallygagging, went to the underworld version of his shop and procured a potion to allow Emma to summon Killian's spirit to his grave here in the underworld.

Emma and her family went to his grave and tried to use the potion but the spell wasn't steady. Emma had seen him, but didn't know if he had seen her or know she was here for him. She had desperately wanted to give him hope and find a way to end his suffering. Seeing him in such a tortured state caused Emma to collapse on his grave in despair. She was the reason he was here, enduring this pain. She had to find him and soon.


	7. A Glimmer of Hope

Killian awoke to to the sounds of chains rattling. There was was an intense ringing in his ears. He felt disoriented but at least he remembered what the fuck was going on this time. He was laying with his face in stone gravel, dust particles filled the air. He sat up slowly, pain delaying his movements, realizing his abdomen was cut and bleeding. The wound Emma left when she stabbed him with Excalibur. Looking around, he found the surrounding cave walls he was chained to familiar. Emma had chained him here to keep him from stopping her plan to murder Zelena in cold blood.

"Oh, good! You're awake." The voice startled Killian, he turned towards the end of the cave that lead to the ground floor of their house and what he saw was worse than he could have imagined. The Dark Swan with white hair pulled into a knot at the back of her head, was on the stairs in her black skirt, long flowing cape and high heels. Her face leaning against the palm of her left hand, she twirled the dagger lazily in her other hand, looking throughly bored. Killian thought that he had saved Emma with his sacrifice. This couldn't be true. He had seen her transform back to her normal, red-leather-jacket-clad self before he died.

Killian willed himself to stand, ignoring the pain; pushing his chains to their limits he stood and turned to face her.

"No need to stand on my account." She was suddenly directly in front of him. She slowly ran the edge the dagger across his left cheek and down his throat. She held the dagger there and used her other hand to brush back his unkempt hair and cup his left cheek lovingly. Killian shivered, but not from pleasure.

"Well I am always a gentleman, love." Except Killian knew this wasn't his love. Killian looked into the green eyes of the woman in front of him and he knew. The spark that should have danced there, the fire of his Emma's deep green eyes, was missing. Killian didn't know what demon Hades had conjured to wear the face of the woman he loved, he just knew in his heart that this wasn't her. He was here to spare her from this and as long as he held that thought in his mind, more importantly his heart, Hades' torture would fail.

"You are not Emma. You may look like her, but you're not, Demon," he spat the words at her.

"Smart. You must truly love her. Most men just take what they see at face value and it's much easier to make them believe I am the wife or lover they left behind." She said as she traced the dagger back to his forehead. She used the dagger to tear into the flesh above his eyes. Killian ignored the warm, sticky flow of blood down his face and tried to maintain his composure. She stood back as she waited for him to react, Killian was focused and unwavering. Thoughts of the real Emma filled his mind. How she laughed, how she loved sailing on the Jolly almost as much as he did, how she always smelled slightly of cinnamon and how her soft lips felt against his each time he claimed them in a kiss.

"Well, that won't do," the demon pouted. Killian felt as she pressed the dagger into the open would left by Excalibur. She retracted the dagger a little and twisted it a few times back and forth in his stomach.

Killian howled in pain and fell to one knee, unable to manage the pain any longer. The demon grabbed at his throat and hauled him back to his feet. She slammed his whole body into the cave wall and then dropped him to the gravel, he hit his head hard as he made contact with the ground. She knelt next to him, but the blood flowing from the cut on his forehead and his left eye swelling shut from the blows made it difficult for him to see her clearly.

"Why do you maintain this ruse then? I know you're not her." Curiosity was probably not the best thing to indulge in at the moment, but Killian couldn't resist asking.

"The woman you love, the one you died for - at some point you'll realize that she didn't love you as much as you loved her. She's the reason you're here; she sent you here to suffer for her actions. Eventually I'll be the image that replaces her in your mind; the physical pain I cause will damage your perception of her. I will poison your love and then my work is done."

Killian slowly pulled himself up and stood defiantly, tamping down the pain he felt simply standing up. The demon waved her hands and suddenly his chains were gone. He was ready for whatever might come next. He was about to move to fight her when an image appeared before him.

Emma was standing in front of him, wearing her red leather jacket. Her eyes were bright and alive, filled with joy at the sight of him. Just as he remembered her.

"Killian? We're here to help you. We just can't find you. Where are you?" He heard the pleading in her voice but he couldn't answer her. She was fading in and out, surely a specter of his imagination.

"Just tell us where you are," she begged.

Her expression changed and he saw despair in her eyes. He knew she could see the sorry state the demon had left him in. He wished he could spare her any pain, but he saw nothing except pain and sorrow etched in her features.

"Talk to us. Talk to me." She whispered, her voice breaking. Killian wanted nothing more than to talk to her but he couldn't open his mouth, couldn't voice the thoughts in his head. Just as suddenly as she had appeared she as gone.

"Damn it," the demon cursed. "That was not a part of the plan."

Killian was reeling, the demon had seen her too. It was real, he just knew it. She had come for him. He wasn't pleased she had risked her safety to come after him. After their trip to the past, Emma had explained that her parents always found each other. That it had become her family's motto, it was just what they all did. He had told David, though he didn't know it at that time, that he would go to the end of the world or time for his daughter and hadn't been certain then if she would do the same. In the time since that adventure, Emma had proven she loved him as truly as he loved her. And now she had come to hell to save him.

"Time to end this. Got my orders to put you somewhere that you cannot get out of. That little magic trick shouldn't give you hope. It was just a message from my master." She said dismissively. She snapped her fingers and Killian fell to the ground, everything going black.

* * *

Killian awoke to the sounds of blood curdling wailing. He was lying on cold pavement. He hauled himself to his feet, taking in his surroundings. A new prison.

"Is this a bloody trick?" He shouted to no one in particular. There were no bars, nothing to stop an escape.

"That's exactly what this is. A trick. He wants you to think you can escape, but you can't." A feminine voice said from the cell across from him.

He looked at the girl, disheveled brown hair framing her face, she looked no more than 18 years old. Just a child. Her clothing was dirty and torn and she wrapped herself in her ragged cloak as though it offered her some protection from Hades' torments.

"Don't. He'll hunt you down."

Killian had been poised to exit the cell but her plea stopped him.

"Hades has already done his worst to me." Thinking of the torture he had endured, the false Emma Hades had sent to him and the haunting visions in their house before that. And now Hades was most assuredly keeping Emma from him.

"I don't mean Hades," she whispered.

"Well who then?"

She shook her head, refusing to answer him.

"Someone has come down to save me and I need to make her job easier." Killian was certain that Emma had come to save him. She was the savior, after all. Nothing could stop her once she made up her mind, damn stubborn woman. She always accomplished what she set out to do.

"How do you she's here?" The girl was skeptical.

"She got me a message." Killian's response didn't satisfy the girl's query.

"How do you know that it wasn't just Hades taunting you?" A jaded look crossed the young woman's face.

"Because I know! When you love someone, you know," he shouted. He hadn't meant to shout at the poor girl. Gods only knew the torment she had endured here, he didn't want to cause further harm.

Killian looked around, he could not let his fear stop him. He knew that Hades wouldn't permit him to escape so easily, while the girl on the other hand had a good chance of getting a message to Emma.

Killian breathed in and stepped out of his cell, movement was quite difficult given his injuries but he pushed the pain from his mind, and walked over to the young woman's cell. When nothing attacked as he neared her, he let out the breathe he had been holding. Killian extended his hand to her.

"Are you mad?"

"Aye, likely. But I am your best hope of getting out of here." Killian silently willed her to take his hand. After a few more moments of hesitation she grasped his hand and he assisted her to her feet.

"Okay, now we must go. Run!" He urged her toward and they ran through the maze of tunnels. He heard sounds of howling and knew now the creature she refused to name hunted them. The girl began to panic and in her panic tripped over her skirts. Killian helped her to her feet.

"We will never make it out of here," she cried.

"We won't but you will. I need you to find someone and give her a message. Her name is Emma Swan. I'm Captain Killian Jones... Captain Hook. Tell her to find me," he begged.

The girl was hesitating again, her fear of this place no doubt weighing on her mind.

"RUN! I'll draw the hell beasts away!" He nudged the girl forward and she ran without looking back.

He turned and ran down another tunnel leading the creature away from the girl. Killian could hear the beast as it got closer and closer. Killian kept moving and managed to avoid the beast for several hours but he was nearing exhaustion. At the pace Killian was moving now, the creature would overtake him very soon based on how close the sounds of howling was.

Killian felt its claws tear into his back as it caught up to him, knocking him over. One of the beast's heads bit into the flesh of his neck and dragged him to the feet of two men. The men, one dark skinned the other pale, both clad in black suits and a perpetual scowl, each threw the beast some sort of food and it trod off to enjoy its reward. The men dragged him through tunnels that reminded Killian of the mines under Storybrooke. After a few minutes they tossed him onto a hard marble floor against a grandfather clock, Killian could hear a violin playing from somewhere and Killian realized where he must be: Hades' lair.

"The prisoner you aided in escape, she's moved on from this realm," Hades snarled.

"Good for her," Killian taunted.

Killian heard the sound of metal being unsheathed, seeing Hades draw what appeared to be a dagger from his cloak.

"Well get on with it then," Killian dared, bracing himself to be stabbed. Again. Centuries as a pirate and in just the last few months, he'd been stabbed more time than he'd care to count. He laughed to himself, hell of a pirate he was these days.

As Hades approached, Killian could see the flat end that identified it as a chisel.

"Oh no, this?" He said, bending down to where Killian lay, forcing Killian to take it in his hand. "This is for your friends."

"What the bloody hell am I supposed to do with this?"

"Simple accounting really. At first, I wanted your friends to leave. I really had such a smooth-running operation going here before they arrived, but now I've decided that they've caused too much damage, so my vindictive side - did you know I have one? - it wants to punish them." Hades stood and walked a few feet away to the center of the chamber and conjured three headstones. "So, from now on, for every soul your friends free, one of them is going to have to stay. And Captain, you get to decided who."

After countless minutes, Hades seemed to have lost what little patience he possessed. He sighed in exasperation. "Oh, come on, Captain!"

"All you have to do is choose three of your friends to say here. Carve their name. What's the problem? Is it the chisel? So unwieldy for the one-handed. Or writer's block?" Hades said, pacing the room.

Killian tossed the chisel away, refusing to carve a single name. "I'm not doing it."

Anger played across Hades' face as he came over, grabbing Killian by the hair and hauling him to his feet.

"I'm not angry. I'm disappointed. And on second thought, I'm angry," Hades whispered. "I guess it's off to solitary."

He lead Killian to one of the rivers leading out of the room. It was green and there were forms swimming below the surface that were hard to make out.

"This is the River of Lost Souls. One touch to its waters and you become... lost. Reducing you to a mindless, tormented husk." Hades forced him aboard the boat, which then started to drift down river through an archway bearing the words: ABANDON ALL HOPE YE WHO ENTER HERE. They came to a stop and Hades drug him out of the boat onto the dock. They walked for a few moments through a tunnel and Killian saw a metal platform over the river. Suddenly Killian found himself hanging by his hands from chains above an opening in the platform.

"Now, Captain, I want you to think about why you are here. You tried to escape. You freed another prisoner. You refuse to do as I ask. And do you know the most important reason?"

"I couldn't begin to guess." Killian was more concerned with struggling against the chains holding him up.

"You and your friends brought contraband, hope, into my world, and that is strictly forbidden. And despite some creative beatings, I still see hope in your eyes. Now I would like that to be gone by the time you reach the water. You have interfered with my carefully cultivated existence, so I am going to hurt you. Then I'm going to collect your friends and hurt them. So there's going to be no one left to save you. Feel free.. to go mad," Hades laughed, disappearing in a cloud of blue flames


	8. A Change in the Game

Regina found them again after some time with news that Cora had arranged a boat to take them back, and if they didn't leave Regina's father would suffer. Emma tried to convince everyone to go but they refused to give up on her. Regina returned to her mother and though Cora tried to condemn her father, Regina was able help him move on to a better place. Regina's experience gave Emma hope that the underworld was not as bleak as it seemed.

Regina had decided to help Emma search through the night, for which Emma was nothing but grateful. When they came across a young woman named Meg who said she had seen Killian, that he helped her escape the prison they were both being held in, Emma's heart leapt. Before Meg crossed over, with Hercules of all people, she gave Emma a map of the caves she had escaped from. And now Emma was about to storm the gates of hell with her family.

"You guys ready to go," Emma said looking around the loft. Her mother nodded.

Just as they were about to leave, the door to the loft swung open and Gold walked in.

"What's this?" He quipped, taking stock of her family's preparations.

"We're going to save Hook," David said, looking confused as to why one would even ask such a question. Emma shared a look with her father and then turned to Gold.

"So all forty-five of you are going to sneak into the deepest level of detention in the underworld? Hades will most certainly have barriers in place to keep out the living."

"So we get a new plan," Emma was ready to be done with Gold, but if he could help her then so be it.

"I can extend the aura of a helpful dead person to get the two of us through the enchantments that certainly await,"

"And where do we find this helpful dead person?" Emma wasn't certain she wanted to know.

"Leave that to me. Meet me outside the library in ten minutes," Gold said, walking back out the open door.

"Emma, be careful. He might have helped us get here but he should be trusted," Regina warned.

"I don't trust him, but I do need his help. I will be back before you know it. Meet me at my house. Maybe it will be cleaner there then here." She hugged her mom, dad and Henry before walking out the door, closing it behind her.

Emma felt extremely nervous as to who Gold might have in mind to help. She exited the building and set off for the library. She found him in the middle of the street with a raven-haired woman wearing a crossing guard jacket. She looked familiar: Emma had seen her picture. In Killian's cabin. Oh shit, they were walking towards her.

"Ms. Swan, there's someone I'd like you to meet," Gold smirked. Emma knew she was definitely not smiling.

"This is Milah, my ex-wife. And Hook's ex also. She's also Baelfire's mother, of course." Gold turned to Milah, "Emma knew him as Neal. They had a torrid affair that resulted in a scandalous teenage pregnancy ... in prison." Leave it to the Dark One to twist the story.

"Yeah... well..." Emma stuttered, not finding the right thing to say. Of course, when you explained it that way, it did sound awful. Emma was uncertain how to keep this meeting from getting any worse.

"So you've been with my former lover AND my son?" Milah asked. "Is that right?" Milah was looking at her with disdain written in her features.

Fuck. It went from just bad to worse. Emma felt so awkward and at a total loss for words.

"I'm sure we'll laugh ourselves sick about all this one day, but for now I suggest we get moving before this becomes any more awkward," Gold said ushering them down the street.

The streets he was taking them down lead them to her house. This couldn't be their destination, could it?

"So, what, the gates of hell are in my house?" Emma was shocked. Certainly not the safest place for her family. She regretted asking them to join her here later.

"The pirate has a knack for selecting property with hidden value." Gold laughed.

She was afraid of what she would find in the Underworld version of her home. She opened the door and they followed her in. She didn't know what she had expected, but it certainly wasn't her crib, unicorn mobile or the toys that had adorned her nursery in the Enchanted Forest. That was a life she had never lived, so those items sat in her house, purpose unfulfilled. Unfinished business was what kept people, and things apparently, here.

At Gold's directions they all took hands as Milah lead them though the barrier at the basement door. The three of them followed the tunnel from the basement out to the River of Lost Souls and found a boat waiting. After a quick, though still awkward boat ride, Emma was glad to arrive at the head of the river. Emma could feel Killian's presence and knew he was here. Milah agreed to stay at the dock and make sure Rumplestiltskin didn't betray them. Emma was glad someone else felt the same way as she did about trusting Rumplestiltskin.

Emma didn't waste anymore time and took off down the tunnel. The tunnel let out at into a cave and she saw him hanging from rusted metal chains above the river, an opening in the platform directly below him. She shouted his name but he didn't look up. He seemed like he was floating in and out of consciousness. She searched frantically for a way across, cursing when she realized she'd have to cross on one of the narrow beams that anchored the platform to the cave. The chains started to lower him towards the river as she moved closer and Emma almost fell in her haste to make it to him in time. Just as he was about to drop through the opening, Emma grabbed him and pulled him to the safety of the platform.

* * *

Killian thought for a moment this was another dream, but when she touched him, he knew that it was really her.

"Oh, Killian," Emma sighed.

"I told you to let me go. You shouldn't be here. Nobody should." He wasn't supposed to be saved, not at the expense of those he was supposed to have already saved.

"I never listen." Emma was placing her hand on his face, her expression half pained, half joyous.

"You're impossible." Killian loved her, damn the stubborn lass.

"And you love me for it," she laughed, pulling him close and holding on tight.

He couldn't argue with her, but they definitely needed to have a conversation about everything that had happened. This just wasn't the best place for it.

"Emma!" A woman's voice shouted.

Emma turned and helped Killian up, they moved quickly through the cave to the river dock.

"Hades!" a shout rang out. The bloody crocodile was kneeling at the rivers edge. Emma had made a deal with the crocodile to get him. Rumple stood and turned to them.

"He deflected my magic back at me. The boat was destroyed and Milah was knocked into the river."

"Milah was here? Milah?" Killian wished he had gotten a chance to say goodbye.

"Yeah, she helped us get to you," Emma said softly.

"Let me get us out of here," Rumple grabbed their arms and transported them to their house. The crocodile had magic. He was the Dark One again. Bloody fucking hell! Killian was pissed but he didn't have time to react because no sooner had they arrived, her family burst through the door.

"Killian! Oh, look at you," Snow exclaimed. Taking in the damage Hades torture had wrought. Dave simply smiled at him and nodded his head in acknowledgment.

"I'll be alright," he reassured her. It was amusing that her mothering instinct applied to him. He was older than all of them combined, except Rumplestiltskin.

"Good job, mom," Henry said as he stepped through the entryway. They had brought the lad? Killian knew Emma likely brought him with her to keep him from finding a way on his own. He was stubborn like his parents.

"How did you do it?" David asked.

"Gold got us in. He got us help. He poofed us back here. He even had a boat to take us all home." Emma paused. "But it's gone."

"What happened?" Snow's voice rose a little higher than normal in concern.

"Hades attacked. The boat was lost. We lost a friend." Killian was upset yet another person he cared for endangered their soul to help him. He didn't deserve the risk they were all taking.

"I'm sorry she was lost." Robin offering his sincere condolences.

"She made me the man I am," Rumple's voice said from behind him, a trace of sadness lacing the words. He had almost forgot that he was there. Killian turned to look at Rumpelstiltskin and felt the a strong desire to tear out his throat.

"I hear you took away my sacrifice. Everything I did to save my friends all went to give you back your power. I should kill you for everything you've done..."

"Acknowledged." No witty remark or biting comment? What happened to the crocodile Killian had come to know and hate?

"But since you help save me I should say..."

"Thank you? No need." Rumpelstiltskin interrupted. He was such a smug bastard.

"Stay of execution. We're even for now." Killian was a gentleman and as much as he hated it, the crocodile helped Emma save him. And he couldn't kill Rumple now that he was the Dark One again, though if he slipped up and betrayed them again, Killian would find a way.

"Well we don't have a way out, but we didn't before. My magic is working now so let's do this heart split so that when we find one, we can get out of here." Regina stepped forward.

"Heart split?" Killian hoped he had heard wrong. If it didn't work, she would literally die of a broken heart. Because of him.

"It's a good plan. It will work. Trust me." Emma turned to Regina and braced herself. Killian watched Regina try to take Emma's heart but she was repelled by an invisible force.

"What? Why didn't that work?" Emma looked devastated that her plan had failed, though Killian realized he felt relieved that she didn't have to take the risk. When Cora had tried to take Emma's heart it had been different then what had just happened. The implications that it was different than before definitely did not bode well for any of them.


	9. A Surprise Visitor

**A/N: If this is the first chapter for which you got an update notice, you may want to go back and read the first 8 chapters. I made some minor updates to the original content. Sorry it's been so long since I updated. Should have another chapter up later tonight or tomorrow.**

* * *

She shut the door behind them, glad to be out of the cemetery. Seeing her mother's and Regina's names on headstones next to hers had definitely been a set back. But Emma and Killian were finally alone. Her parents had retreated to the loft and Henry was with Regina and Robin. It was odd to be alone in their house together. Except they were stuck in the Underworld and Emma could feel his unease. It practically radiated off of him.

"Sit down. Let me look at you." She guided him to the couch in the living room. He was looking at the nursery that had taken over the space. She wished she could hear what he was thinking in that moment. He turned and sat down on the couch. He groaned in pain as he did, but he finally made eye contact with her.

"Sure you want to? Hades sorta... knocked the handsome out of me." Killian knew he was simply deflecting, not sure how to react to the nursery in their living room. The nursery hadn't been here before Emma had arrived.

"No one is that powerful." She smiled and held her hand over his face, channeling her love into her magic. The bruises and cuts disappeared from his body just as the blood and dirt on his clothing was suddenly gone. He sighed, no longer in pain on the surface but Emma knew the same could not be said of his internal state of being. Emma leaned in to kiss him but he dodged her.

"What's wrong?"

"Its just... um... a lot has happened between us." Killian said, averting his gaze.

"Then what's the problem?"

"I'm the problem. Emma, you were the Dark One for six weeks and only gave in out of love. I plunged in headfirst in a second for revenge! I was weak!" He jumped up from the couch and into the entryway.

"Not in the end," she countered. Yes, he had given into the Darkness and been imprisoned in his mind. The Darkness had used him as a pawn but he managed to overcome it in the end.

"You raise the bar very high, Swan. The fact is I don't measure up." Killian knew the self hatred in his voice was almost a tangible thing.

Emma pushed herself off the couch, walking over to him. She lay a hand on his arm. "Let me be the judge of that. If you didn't, do you think I'd have come all the way down here to save you?"

"That's my point: I'm not sure I deserve saving. You shouldn't have come. You were supposed to move on," Killian whispered it, still not able to meet her gaze.

"I couldn't move on. I laid there," Emma said, gesturing to the couch, "for days, unmoving, unaffected by anything except loss. Grief over what we never got to experience. This nursery represents the life of the princess I never got the chance to be, the loving family I should've had my whole life, but it also represents the things I want with you. The future that died with you. I felt like I wasted so much time running from you and when I knew I had I way to you, the best plan felt like running towards you. Death be damned."

"You barely had a plan, Emma. I mean, you intended to split your heart with me? Emma, you could've warned me before Regina blurted it out in front of everyone and I was left gaping like a bloody idiot."

"I thought it was a good plan. Obviously it didn't work the way I intended."

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions, Emma. I told you when I died to let me go and you didn't listen. Now you're stuck here. Unintended consequence, I'm sure, but you deserve better." Emma laid her hand on his cheek and turned his face towards her.

"Killian, you are what I deserve. I can't imagine a future without you. Are you telling me that you want to stay here?"

Killian stood there staring at her silently for a few moments, contemplating her words, and just as she braced herself for his response the doorbell rang.

"Bloody hell," he muttered. The doorbell rang again. Emma was annoyed that even in Underbrooke, they could barely find a moment to talk about the the shit that they had gone through in the last few months. Still Emma opened the door cautiously, afraid who might be on the other side of it, and was greeted by a tall blond man with intense blue eyes. Emma was taken aback by the man who stood there.

"Liam?" Killian said incredulously. "Liam?"

"So the rumors are true. After all these years, my little brother is finally here." Killian's brother stepped into their house and pulled him into an embrace. Emma just stood next to them, awkwardly waiting for the men to remember she was there. Killian broke off the hug and grabbed Emma's hand, pulling her to his side.

"Liam, this is Emma. Emma, my love, this is my brother, Liam," Killian beamed. Killian seemed so different than he had moments ago.

"Liam, it's a pleasure to meet you. Killian has talked a lot about you," Emma extended her hand, expecting him to grasp it in greeting.

"Emma, nice to meet you." Liam did not take her hand.

"Come in and sit down." She ushered both Jones men to the kitchen table. "Would you like a drink?" She reached into a cabinet finding three glasses and a search of the lower cabinet revealed a bottle of liquor. Exactly where she had kept such things in the Storybrooke version of this place. It was eerie how this place was so much the same and so different at the same time. She tried not to think about the gates of hell in her basement.

She sat the glasses down in front of each of the men and sat across from Killian. They had been talking while she had busied herself looking about the kitchen and she hadn't paid much attention.

Killian raised his glass. Emma and Liam reluctantly joined his toast. They drank silently for a few minutes before Liam and Killian began talking about the parts of Killian's life after Liam had died. Emma had heard many of these stories before and simply sat relishing the joy on Killian's face at being with his brother again. At least they weren't fighting, but Emma knew their conversation was far from over. Emma listened as Killian brought Liam up to speed on recent events. Emma could feel Liam's steel blue gaze landing on her, silently judging her.

"Liam, what about you, why are you down here?" Killian asked.

"I wish I knew. I spent countless years trying to figure out a reason."

LIE. Emma's superpower kicked in and she straightened in her chair turning to Liam.

"Hades has the game rigged so no one can leave." Killian turned to Emma, "My brother is proof of that. Never did a bad thing in his life. He even died nobly, stopping a treacherous king from poisoning the realm."

"Stop it, you're making me blush." Liam joked.

"Now Hades has you two trapped down here and that cannot stand. The only way everyone will get free is to defeat Hades once and for all. Liam you've been down here a very long time. Surely you know something that can help us."

Emma turned and stared at Killian. The way he was speaking, it sounded as if he really meant that everyone but himself should be saved.

"I know this is a dangerous game you're playing. There are those who've tried to overthrow Hades before. They've always mentioned a book that had the powe to defeat him. Even I tried searching for it, but I'm not even sure what to look for." Liam admitted.

"I think it's a storybook," Emma said, confident that it was the Underworld version of Henry's book that Liam was referencing.

"A storybook? I wager it would take more than stories," Liam said dismissively.

"No, no, no, no, no. She's on to something. In our world, there's a book like this." Killian assured Liam.

Killian's defense of her idea and use of our world made Emma's heart flutter.

"Everything up there has a version down here. There has to be one down here," Emma reasoned.

"If there's a story in there about Hades then maybe we can use it to defeat him."

Emma suggested that they head to her parents' loft because they might find the book there. Killian made introductions to everyone and then they all split up to search the apartment. Emma went to her old room to look around when she heard someone on the stairs.

"Emma, can we talk?" Liam asked as he finished climbing the steps.

"Sure. Is this a protective big brother talk where you want to make sure I'm good enough for Killian?" Emma had a gut feeling that this wasn't going to be a pleasant chat.

"No, because I already know you're not good enough. Killian blames himself for ending up here but he told me what happened and it sounds like it's not his fault. It's yours"

Emma gaped at Liam. She would have thought the man who taught Killian about being a gentleman would have displayed more tact. No. Straight for the jugular instead.

"Um..." Emma stuttered. "I think we both made mistakes."

"Killian has been fighting the darkness his whole life and you pushed him off the cliff."

"I was trying to save him." Emma

"It was a bloody selfish thing to do. You ignored his wishes. You turned him into a Dark One even though he begged you not to. Then when he had the chance to die a hero, to move on, you took that from him."

Emma could feel her anger rising, her magic on edge with her emotions as well. "I love him. I'm risking everything to save him. I came here to bring him home. I was going to share my heart with him. He deserves his happy ending." He deserves a life with me. The implication hung in the air that she was Killian's happy ending. He had told her as much.

"And is that really what he needs? Or what you need? So, no, Emma, you're not good enough for him. If he defeats Hades, he will be able to forgive himself and he'll have another chance to move on. When that happens, you need to stop thinking about your own desires and let him go."

When she and Liam came back downstairs, Killian asked her if she was okay and she nodded. The way he read her and knew something was off was always a comfort to her, but he couldn't see that it was Liam who had thrown her off. Liam was his hero who could do no wrong. Emma wished she knew how Liam's dislike of her would play out, but she didn't think it would end well.


	10. Letting Go

**A/N: Sorry this is a short chapter. Should have another chapter up tomorrow, just have to finish polishing it up. A relaxing day is definitely good for my muse.**

* * *

Killian was glad of Henry's knowledge about the Apprentice's key. A little ruse on David's part had been required to successfully retrieve the key and Killian had tried not to laugh when Dave told them what had transpired in the sheriff's station. Liam was able to use it to unlock the spell on Merlin's underworld residence. It was the first real progress in their effort to overthrow Hades. A short search yielded the storybook in the library but pages were missing so they split up once again to find the pages about Hades.

When both Liam and Emma had disappeared during the search, Killian felt the need to find them and make sure nothing was amiss. He found them outside and could have sworn it sounded as though they were arguing. He had sensed tension between them earlier and hadn't said anything because he thought he was imagining it. It was just the Underworld getting to his mind.

"Emma, Liam, what's going on?" Killian queried.

"She thinks I lied to you." Liam explained. Emma had mentioned earlier that Liam had set off her superpower, but Killian just couldn't believe his brother would lie.

"He took the pages. I can prove it. Ask him to show you his hands. He's been hiding them since I got here," Emma demanded.

"Look if it'll help to clear things up, I'd be happy to." Liam acquiesced.

"That won't be necessary. I don't need proof to know what's really going on here. Emma, when are you going to admit this is not really about my brother?"

Emma shook her head in confusion. "What else would you think it was about?"

"Us. You think that if you can prove Liam is a villain that I'll somehow feel like I was less of one. That you can convince me I'm worth saving and that we've got a future together." Killian whispered. Voicing how he'd had felt since she found him, didn't make Killian feel any better. He just felt guilty. He didn't deserve to be saved. He was a liar, a murderer and he had almost hurt everyone he cared about just for the sake of revenge. He HAD hurt Emma, probably more than she would admit. She might have forgiven him, but he wasn't convinced he wouldn't hurt her again.

"You agree with him?" Emma's voice raised.

"Why should I go back, when I can just move on?" Killian demanded. Killian stole a glance at her and she looked distraught. He couldn't bring himself to look her in the eyes. He had to let her go. She wouldn't be stuck here if it wasn't for him. He wanted her to be safe from him.

"After we defeat Hades, I won't be returning with you. My fate isn't in Storybrooke, it should be determined here." Killian turned away, unable to bear the pain he was causing her.

"It doesn't have to be. You can come home, Killian," Emma pleaded. "You just have to forgive yourself. Thing is, no matter how many times I tell you or anyone else does: you have to do it yourself." Emma, tear streaming down her cheek, pushed past him and ran.

"Emma!" Killian began to walk after her, regretting his words.

"Perhaps it's for the best," Liam said, pressing his hand into Killian's chest, stopping him from going after her.

"I doubt she will be as understanding or accepting as you think. Her family has this thing about not giving up, especially on those they love, and she certainly inherited that trait." Killian noticed a smudge mark on his brother's hand. He removed Liam's hand from his chest and looked at it. It was covered in black ink. Emma had been right. Killian felt like a bloody idiot for not believing her.

* * *

Emma had been walking absentmindedly through the mansion, not focused on finding the pages that were missing from the Underworld version of the book. She felt like she really needed her parents advice and comfort. It still sometimes felt strange to Emma, how much she depended on her family. She really had come a long way from the girl who thought she was nothing but a lost girl, with no one who loved her. Now her love for Killian had driven her to ends she never thought herself capable though she was still behaving slightly like she had as the Dark One, thinking about herself rather than others. She couldn't, no... she wouldn't, be like that any longer. She suddenly heard a door close and followed the noise to the exterior of the house. Emma found Liam standing at the well.

Emma really wished Liam wasn't there, but Liam loved Killian just as much as she did and he was probably trying to protect him. That didn't stop her from hating the elder Jones brother for lying to Killian. Several times now and Emma really couldn't understand why.

"Find anything out here?" Emma questioned, wondering if Liam would acknowledge her without the snark and self righteousness of their earlier conversation.

"Emma!" Liam hid his hands in his pockets and turned to her. "I'm afraid a ship's captain can only be cooped up inside so long. I had to come out and get some air. What brings you here?" _LIE_.

Liam was lying again. Damn him. Emma took the chain out of her pocket that held Killian's ring. Well, she supposed it was Liam's ring.

"I wanted to show you this." Emma opened her hand exposing the ring.

"It's the ring I gave Killian. I noticed he wasn't wearing it," Liam replied, seemingly curious why she had it.

"Because he gave it to me," Emma said, watching him Liam's eyes widen at her words, understanding flooding into them. Emma had to wonder if Liam really doubted the love she and Killian shared. That it wasn't true, because it most certainly was and would always be.

"You know what he told me when he did? That it belonged to a much better man than him."

Liam pursed his lips and looked away, unable to meet Emma's gaze. Another sure sign he was hiding something.

"You're his hero. He doesn't think he can do any wrong. Which is why I can't figure out why you would lie to him," Emma sighed.

"Emma, Liam, what's going on?" Killian queried, walking up to them.

"She thinks I lied to you." He was lying and Emma knew it. Her emotions weren't clouding her superpower as much as she had hoped they were.

"He took the pages. I can prove it. Ask him to show you his hands. He's been hiding them since I got here," Emma demanded.

"Look if it'll help to clear things up, I'd be happy to." Smug bastard knew just what to say to keep that from happening.

"That won't be necessary. I don't need proof to know what's really going on here. Emma, when are you going to admit this is not really about my brother?"

Emma shook her head in confusion. "What else would you think it was about?"

"Us. You think that if you can prove Liam is a villain that I'll somehow feel like I was less of one. That you can convince me I'm worth saving and that we've got a future together." Killian whispered. He couldn't look her in the eyes. He was full of so much self loathing.

"You agree with him?" Emma was angry that after everything, he still didn't think he was worthy of love and happiness. And that Liam was reinforcing Killian's insecurities was just awful.

"Why should I go back, when I can just move on?" Killian demanded.

Emma wanted to shout: _To be with me. For our future_. She couldn't speak it out loud because it was simply too selfish. And she had made a promise to herself to stop being selfish.

"After we defeat Hades, I won't be returning with you. My fate isn't in Storybrooke, it should be determined here." Killian glanced at her briefly and turned away. Emma could see the tears forming in his eyes, knowing it pained him to hurt her.

"It doesn't have to be. You can come home, Killian," Emma pleaded. "You just have to forgive yourself. Thing is, no matter how many times I tell you or anyone else does: you have to do it yourself."

Emma knew she couldn't make the decision for him. A tear streamed down her cheek, she couldn't look at Killian or Liam any longer, her anger and pain was starting to overwhelm her. She needed to get away from them before she starting sobbing or punched someone, so she pushed past Killian and ran. And to her complete disappointment, he didn't follow her. Emma couldn't return to the loft. She thought of her house and then she was there. She went to their... her bedroom and climbed under the sheets. She knew Liam was right. If she loved him, she had to let him go and if he wanted to come back with her, well that needed to be his choice too. Emma sobbed into the pillow until she couldn't any longer. She wished for sleep but she knew it wouldn't come.


	11. Never Stop Fighting

"What the bloody hell Liam?" Killian shouted. "Emma was right! You did something to the pages. Why?! Why would you lie to me?"

"Because he's got much bigger secrets than what's in some book," asserted a voice from behind him. "Like the truth about what he did to us."

Killian turned to find Captain Silver, a man he and Liam had once been indentured to, and several former crew members surrounding them. They had died in a storm he and Liam had miraculously survived.

"What truth is he talking about, Liam? What does it have to do with the missing pages?" Killian had several thoughts running through his mind that he wished he could stop. He was certain that his brother had made some kind of deal with the devil that had allowed them to be spared the storm that sunk Silver's ship.

"Your brother isn't the hero he pretends to be. I found that out when I stopped by his tavern for my usual drink and found he had a rather unexpected guest. Hades."

Killian looked at Liam and Liam wouldn't meet his gaze. His brother was ashamed and it was almost a confirmation of everything Silver was saying.

Silver had a grim look on his face as he continued. "He traded our souls for the Eye of the Storm. Hades threatened to tell the truth unless your brother destroyed those pages."

Killian couldn't believe what he was hearing. He certainly hadn't expected to ever hear such things said of his brother, though if it was true his brother should have told him at what expense their life in the navy had been brought.

"Liam, please tell me there is another explanation for this."

"I'm sorry, Killian!" Liam shouted. "I didn't have any other choice. I had to do what I could to save us."

Killian felt anger boiling up, at the one person he had never thought would betray him. "You lied to me!"

"And now you're both going to pay," Silver shouted, gesturing to his men to seize them.

Next thing Killian knew there was a bag over his head and he was being physically dragged somewhere. The cloth was removed and he and Liam were at the edge of the cliff above the boiling sea. The place that was worse than the Underworld.

"Time to walk the plank!" Silver laughed maniacally.

"I'll gladly walk it. Just spare Killian. He has nothing to do with this," Liam begged.

"He should have gone down along with the ship. Like the rest of us. And now he will."

Liam turned away from Silver and Killian could see the remorse in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Killian. I wanted to be this perfect example for you. To inspire you," Liam explained.

"All you did was raise the bar so high, the only thing I could do was fail." Killian had spent his entire life trying to measure up to his brother and always placed his brother on a pedestal. A perfect example that turned out to be a lie.

"Enough!" Silver shouted. "Time to face justice, boys"

Suddenly in a whirl of blue flames, Hades appeared.

"Did someone decide to have party and forgot to invite me?" Hades mockingly complained.

Hades knocked Silver into the flames with a huff and turned to face Liam and Killian.

"And now for the Brothers Jones. One of them kept up his end of a deal and gets to live. While the other escaped from my dungeon and for that he has to pay. At last we'll see the end of Captain Hook," Hades laughed. "And this time, you won't be able to protect him."

"No, I won't let you hurt Killian. No matter what kind of deal we made." Liam stood defiantly between him and Hades. Killian didn't want to see Liam suffer, no matter what his brother had done. Killian still loved him and knew Liam had done awful things out of a desire to protect him. Just as Emma had done. They were a lot alike for all that they hadn't gotten along.

"Fine, have it your way." Hades let out a breathe and sent Liam flying towards the boiling lava below.

Killian reacted and caught Liam's arm before he could fall. "Liam, please hang on," Killian begged. It was difficult to hold his brother with just one hand, there was no was he could pull him up.

"I'm sorry. Can you forgive me for what I've done?" Liam asked.

"Yes, but that's not what's important," Killian was staining to speak and hold his brother's weight, but Emma's words came back to him. "You need to find a way to forgive yourself."

"I can't, not after what I did to you. The only way to make amends is for me to pay the price." Liam let go of his hand and fell.

"NO!" Killian cried, devastated at losing his brother a second time.

Killian turned away, unable to watch Liam fall into the flame, but as he turned a bright light filled the cave and it opened to reveal a bright, blue sea.

"You will pay for what you've done!" Hades shouted, disappearing in flames.

Killian turned to find Liam safe in a boat, the fire transformed into a blue sea as far as the eye could see.

"You're safe," Killian sighed, relief flooding him.

"I suppose this is a sacrifice I should have made a long time ago and now I can finally depart," Liam replied, as the boat he was on moved itself toward the former cliff.

Killian knew that his brother's sacrifice had earned him the opportunity to move on and he wouldn't let his brother waste it.

"Then go. All of you," he addressed Silver's men. "Now that you finally know the truth, your unfinished business is complete as well. Get onboard men."

Killian held the boat as the men boarded and once completed, he turned to his brother. He was saddened that after all this time they had found each other only to see each for a day, but they would see each other again. Killian knew it in his heart.

"What about you brother?" Liam asked. His brother just wanted what was best for him and Killian had finally realized what that was. The very thing that he had seen when he had first been trapped in the Underworld: a life, a family, with Emma.

"My unfinished business isn't done yet. Not until Emma and I defeat Hades."

"You mean to go back with her, don't you?"

"Yes. I told her I'd never stop fighting for us. I love her and I want to have a life with her. A full life." Killian knew deep down that's what he had always wanted and all he had had to do was forgive himself to be able to see that.

"I expect that when we meet again, you'll have tales of a wonderful adventure. Tell Emma, I said I'm sorry and I was wrong. She truly does want what's best for you. And don't worry about reaching that bar anymore, Killian. You've become a true hero in a way I never could. Goodbye." Liam said, extending his hand.

Killian took Liam's hand and pulled Liam into an embrace. "Goodbye, brother."

He let go of Liam's hand and watched as the boat drifted out to sea. Eventually Killian could only see the boat as a dot on the horizon as it reached a larger ship in the distance. Killian turned and realized there was somewhere he needed to be.

He made it back to Merlin's mansion to find Regina and Henry, but no Emma. Regina told him that they were headed back to the loft to sleep. Assured the lad was safe, Killian bid them goodbye and set off, knowing exactly where he'd find his Swan.

* * *

"Emma!" She heard the door slam and he was stomping up the stairs. "Emma!"

She ignored his shouts and rolled so that she faced away from the door.

She could feel him enter the room and kneel on the floor beside the bed. Emma kept her eyes closed tightly.

"Emma, look at me." His pleading tone coaxed her to open her eyes. Killian placed his hand on her cheek and Emma leaned into his hand, craving his touch more than anything.

"Killian, what are you doing here?" Her eyes were red and Killian felt angry at himself that he was the cause of her tears once again.

"I'm sorry, Emma. You were right about Liam. He destroyed those pages because of a deal he made with Hades long ago. A deal that almost landed us in that boiling sea. Liam sacrificed himself and that sacrifice helped a crew we once sailed with to move on." Killian couldn't help the tear that escaped his eye.

Emma sat up, moving away from Killian's hand. "Did he move on too?"

"Yes. But before he left, he helped me see the truth. I'm glad you came down here, Emma. Perhaps I do deserve saving after all."

"Does that mean that when this is all over, you're planning to come home?"

"Yes. Everything Liam did was to ensure I had a future. And I damn well intend to have one." He pulled Emma into his arms, kissing her hard.

"Emma..." Killian broke away and slipped his jacket and shoes off and rejoined her on the bed. He gathered her in his arms again, raining kisses on her forehead and cheeks. "Emma, let me love you."

"Killian..." She kissed him fiercely. She pushed her hands to his chest, undoing the buttons of his vest then his shirt. He pulled her sweater over her head and unclasped her bra. She leaned back, undoing his belt and pushing his jeans and boxers to his feet. He threw them on to the slowly growing pile of clothes lying at the foot of the bed. Her own jeans and panties followed moments later. She sighed, her head falling to the pillows, as he kissed and teased her breasts with his mouth. The heat of his mouth on her nipple sent shivers down her spine. His hand and hook explored her body, as though he was making a mental map of her sensitive spots.

Emma felt cold steel on her thigh. "Open for me, love," he pushed her thighs apart with his hook and his thumb pressed against her clit, moving his thumb in circles while still tasting her breasts. Emma was lost in the pleasure he was keen on providing her and when he pressed two fingers into her wet center, fucking her with his fingers, she moaned loudly. He kissed a light trail down the valley between her breasts, to her navel, finally reaching her core and flicking his tongue over the sensitive bud of nerves. She loved the feel of his tongue and fingers working together to bring her to her peak. She threaded her fingers through his hair as she screamed out her release.

Killian leaned back and watched her ride the waves of her orgasm. Knowing she was still on edge, he used his hook to push her legs farther apart and plunged himself into her. She gasped as he seated himself fully and began to slowly find their rhythm. He leaned down and took her face in his hand, kissing her with growing intensity and passion. He could feel Emma's second orgasm beginning and it took all his willpower not to join her. Killian wanted this to last as long as possible and he was nothing if not patient.

"Killian!" She cried his name over and over, her nails raking down his back as she convulsed around him. Emma hadn't felt so free since the first time they made love in Camelot.

Just as soon as she had fallen, Killian shifted so he could move deeper and she cried out. Knowing he had found her sweet spot, he increased the pace, her hips moving to match his. Killian kissed Emma's neck, leaving a small mark just behind her left ear. He shifted his focus to her eyes.

"Emma, open your eyes."

Emma reluctantly opened her eyes, afraid it was just a dream that would end when she did. She locked her gaze with his. Killian pushed his hand into her hair and anchored his hook on her hip as he drove them both over the edge. Emma's screams echoed through the room as he felt her shatter around him; he finally let go, plunging into his own release.

Emma fell asleep almost instantly, exhausted from the events of the last few hours. Killian went down to the kitchen to grab a drink. He sat at the kitchen table with a bottle of rum, pouring a large amount into the glass he had used earlier. The house was filled with the remnants of Emma's lost childhood but the nursery in the middle of their living room reminded him that he very much wanted this with her. Love, laughter, children and a life lived to the fullest. He had been fooling himself if he thought he could let her leave without him. A man unwilling to fight for what he wants, deserves what he gets. He had promised Emma Swan he'd never stop fighting for them and he realized he didn't intend to start now.


	12. Renewed Faith

**Author's Note:** Sorry it took so long for this update. I started this story with the intention to follow along with the second half of season 5 and weaving in my headcanons. I knew staying true to the overall flow of the events would be challenging and limit my creativity a bit so I'm not surprised I hit a wall here in the middle of the tale. I re-wrote this chapter so many times until it felt right (Thanks to my wonderful beta reader Adele for the push I needed on this chapter). I had (and still do) an overall idea of where I wanted to end up (if you paid attention to the hints I dropped in earlier chapters) and already know what the completely divergent sequel to this story will be.

However I've always been of the opinion that it's the journey rather the destination that means the most when telling a story or just for life in general. The title of this chapter doesn't just describe the characters and their journey, but also mine in writing this chapter.

Thanks to those who have read, followed or favorited this story. It means a lot to have support for my first foray into writing in years. I hope you are willing to trust me and this story enough to continue the journey. So if you are, let's take that next step as Emma and Killian always do... together.

* * *

When Killian returned to their bed, he tucked Emma into his arms and held her as she slept. Killian remained on high alert as this wasn't their house in Storybrooke, it was still the Underworld which had dealt them enough trauma to last lifetimes. Killian wished he could join her in sleep, being dead he didn't need to, however Killian didn't feel dead when she was in his arms.

Watching her chest rise and fall in the even breaths of sleep, he couldn't help the feeling of love he felt. If his heart was beating, it would have been beating out of his chest right at this moment. Every time he looked at her, he fell deeper in love. She snuggled against him in her sleep, blond tresses falling across her face as she tried to burrow into him. Killian brushed the errant strands of hair behind her ear and leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead. Their interactions here in the Underworld defied logic but he would defy the universe to be with Emma. Now they just had to figure out how to get everyone home safely.

Emma awoke gasping for air. It only took a moment to register the strong arms that had her enveloped in a safe and protective embrace.

"Nightmare, love?" Killian whispered into her ear, brushing his hand against her face. Killian had watched her sleep for almost eleven hours without interruption.

"You're still here. I dreamt that I lost you again," she cried. "I want to go home so badly because until we're back in the real Storybrooke, I still might lose you."

Killian, for once, was at a loss for words. He knew that he couldn't tell her it would be okay, not quite yet. He didn't want to tell her they would all make it out because there could still be truth to her words.

"Emma, my love, everything will work out the way it's meant to and no matter what happens, I'll never stop loving you."

It sounded like a goodbye, which Emma knew it wasn't. He hadn't promised it would be all right and she knew it was because he couldn't say that. Emma snuggled into his chest, but the absence of his steady heartbeat, once her greatest source of comfort, just loomed as a reminder that none of this was real.

"This feels so real, but it's not. Not truly. We're still in the Underworld."

"I'm here with you and that's real enough for me. We have to make the most of the moments we have, even when everything feels hopeless. I have faith in you, Swan. Have faith in us?" Killian sighed as Emma nodded her head.

"Now perhaps we should get dressed and head over to your parents' loft before they day has completely passed." Killian suggested. As loathe as he was to leave the bed, he'd be happier to be able to take her back to their true home than linger in the Underworld longer than necessary.

"Ok, but we should probably shower separately." Emma decided, kissing him quickly. She could tell by his expression that he understood what she left unsaid. Emma wanted nothing more than to have her pirate again, but it felt a little awkward. Well, only because she had sex with her dead boyfriend in the Underworld version of their house while his body was back in the real Storybrooke. It was just a bit weird even if his soul was given a corporeal existence here. It certainly gave her a headache thinking about the metaphysics of it all.

Killian noticed the strange look that passed over her features and grabbed her hand as she stood to leave.

"We don't have to be intimate every time we are in a state of undress, Emma. I understand and it's okay," Killian gave a half-hearted smile. Open book, love.

I know, Killian. She stood up and pulled him out of the bed with her, dragging him into the bathroom.

A half and hour later they arrived at the loft to find Snow, David, Regina and Robin gathered around the kitchen island chatting. Snow shared a smile with Regina when they entered and Robin actually winked at Killian. David was pretending not to notice the subtle acknowledgment of what might have occurred between the pirate and his daughter. Emma was a bit annoyed at everyone's reaction to her and Killian showing up together well into the afternoon. Everyone in this room knew that they had shared a room together in Camelot for goodness' sake. And they knew she hadn't slept in the nine weeks she had been the Dark One so she was sure as hell (pun intended) overdue for rest. She raised her eyebrow, mimicking Killian's way of teasing her, almost daring them to say something.

"Where's Henry?" Killian asked, hoping to diffuse the tension in the room.

"He's upstairs, but he's refusing to talk to anyone," Regina replied.

Emma let go of Killian's hand and walked upstairs to speak with Henry, but he refused to talk and told her to go away, so she immediately trudged back down the stairs.

"Well, we officially have a brooding teenager on our hands." Emma threw her hands up in exasperation as she joined everyone at the island again.

Killian wrapped his arms around Emma from behind and he felt her relax a little. "Maybe, love, he just doesn't want to speak with his mothers. May I?"

Emma nodded and Killian looked to Regina who nodded in agreement as well. Emma's heart swelled with the thoughtfulness of him seeking permission to speak with Henry but she would have to let him know that he didn't have to do so in the future. He was as much a parent to Henry as she and Regina.

Killian couldn't see Emma's facial expression but he could tell from her body language that he had missed something important, but he knew they would talk later. They still had so much to say and sort through. He kissed her on the cheek and released her, making his way to the room she and Henry had shared. Henry was sitting on the left side of Emma's old bed.

"Hey, lad. What are you doing?"

Henry looked up, his eyes as stormy as Emma's could be when upset. "Just thinking."

"Do you mind if I join you?" Killian was still waiting at the top of the steps for the lad to give him permission to enter the room.

"Yeah, sure," Henry gestured to the bed next to him. Killian sat down at the bottom of the bed but didn't say anything. Killian was content to sit in silence until Henry was ready to talk.

"Did my moms send you up to talk to me?" Henry said at last, turning to face Killian.

"I'm here because I want to be, Henry."

"Did mom tell you she saw my father? That he tried to stop her from coming here to save you?"

"Baelfire... Neal is here? In the Underworld?" Killian didn't know about Emma's conversation with Neal.

Henry looked at, unshed tears in his eyes. "No, he moved on. He contacted Emma through, and I quote, 'a long distance call from an old friend.' I wasn't his unfinished business and I thought I would be. I didn't know him very long and didn't remember him when he died, but he wasn't the man I hoped he'd be."

Killian understood Henry's position. He had always had a little trouble reconciling the man Neal became with the young boy Killian met in Neverland. How had young Baelfire become adult Neal who seduced a young Emma, leaving her with child and behind bars? A man who had used Dark magic to bring back the Dark One, ultimately at the cost of his own life. He felt partly to blame for destroying the hope of the young lad all those many years ago. Blame and regret wouldn't help Henry though. He thought of what he had said to Emma just that morning. That things worked out the way they were meant to and he knew Neal had believed that too.

"I'm sure he was able to move on because he knew you had what he didn't, a loving family. Two very protective mothers and no shortage of people who love and care for you, lad," Killian assured him. "I know that my actions as the Dark One may indicate otherwise, and for that I am truly sorry, but I care for you. I know I can never take your father's place but I am here for you."

"That's just it. And I didn't realize it until mom told he had moved on and you were still here. Neal might be my father, but you're my true dad, Killian. You're one who has been there for me, taught me sailing, navigation, helped me with my math homework because we both know Emma hates math, how to cheat at dice and even advice about girls," he laughed. "I know you didn't mean to hurt us, that it was the Darkness controlling and influencing you and that you sacrificed yourself to save all of us because love sometimes means sacrifice. I was just upset that I couldn't do anything to help save you or mom because I broke that damn pen. I wanted to come to the Underworld because mom isn't the only one who lost you."

Killian was speechless for the second time today. He didn't realize Henry felt that way and never would have expected it. Henry surprised him again by throwing his arms around him in a hug. Killian pulled back and ruffled the boy's hair.

"Henry, using the pen to bring me back wouldn't have been what I or your mother would've wanted. The cost of that is something that you should never have to pay. I'm honored to be considered so important to you. Even if I cannot be brought back home to Storybrooke, know that, no matter what, I love you just as much as if you were my own blood, Henry. I would do anything to make sure you and your mom are safe."

"Thanks, dad." Henry hugged him tighter. "Knowing all that I hope you and my moms won't be too mad when I tell you what I've been keeping from you. Someone told me the pen was here in the Underworld and I've found it."

Killian felt such happiness at Henry's words he almost missed the boy's confession. Almost.

"I think it's best if we go downstairs and you can explain it all at once. Don't you? Although it might be best if you refrain from cursing in front of your mothers or we will both be in trouble. And make sure you apologize for your sulking and shutting them out, it'll certainly help soften the blow when you make your confession."

Emma, Regina and Snow had been sitting at the dinning room table for over an hour when Henry then Killian came down the stairs. Robin and David, whom had been sitting at the counter of the kitchen island stood and came over to the table.

"Mom, mom, I am sorry for my behavior. Dad and I talked about why I was sulking and resolved part of it, but I have to tell you what I've been keeping from everyone."

Emma looked at Killian who was scratching behind his ear and looking down, embarrassment written clearly on his face. Emma was pleased at this development between her love and her son. Regina definitely blanched at Henry calling Killian 'dad' but surprisingly said nothing. Emma wondered if Henry thought something similar about Robin, though she'd be surprised. Aside from herself, Regina and Killian, the kid spent more time with his grandfather than his other potential step-father. Her mother touched her arm softly breaking her out of her thoughts.

"Cruella asked me to write her back to life and told me that the pen was sent here to the Underworld after I broke it. I found it at the Sorcerer's mansion. I was going to do it too," Henry confessed.

"What?" Emma exclaimed at the same time Regina said "Henry Daniel Mills!"

"Why would you think you had to do that?" Emma glanced at Killian standing next to her and he shrugged and nodded his head back toward Henry.

"Because you killed Cruella and I thought that I could help remove the guilt you were feeling over it. I have all this power as Author and still couldn't use it to help you or dad," Henry said looking back an forth between Emma and Killian. "But I know that neither of you would want me to do that because it's not the right way and the magic used to do it would come with a price. But I know now that I can use the pen to recreate Hades' story and maybe find a way to defeat him and go home."

"We will find a way Henry." Emma grabbed Henry and pulled him into her arms, holding him tight. Emma glanced at Killian over Henry's head and he smiled brightly at them and Emma knew everything would be okay.

They decided it was best if they ate dinner and Henry could start writing in the morning. They settled in an an easy evening of eating and stories from the Enchanted Forest. Emma thought that if they ignored they red tint that filled the air, it was almost like being in Storybrooke, enjoying a normal (well normal for as complicated as their relationships and family tree truly was) family dinner and laughter. Emma and Killian decided that the loft would be too crowded if they remained, as Robin and Regina had taken up Emma's old bed, so Emma poofed them home.

Killian led her to their bedroom. Once they locked the door Emma waved her hand, conjuring nightclothes for both of them. Killian looked down to find himself in a black t-shirt and black sweatpants and Emma was wearing a sleeveless blue shirt and shorts. Killian took off his hook and brace, laying them on the side table. Emma felt relief when they both climbed into bed and he pulled her into his arms, no space between her back and his body. This is home, Emma thought before sleep finally claimed her.


	13. Author's Note

This story has been discontinued in its current format. I have left it here for now so it can be compared to the rewritten version I have just started. If you originally followed this story, I hope you'll check out and follow the new and improved Come Hell or High Water.

Thank you,

Kate Alexandra


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